Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I am curious as to others experiences with marriage counseling. I am currently in counseling with my wife and it does not seem to be what I expected. So I have been reading up a lot on the subject and it seems my suspicions are correct.
I seem to be "teamed up" on, there are no rules of engagement, just a continuation of what got us here in the first place. Yelling, blaming and NO communication. I brought this up at our last session and her response was that people yell when emotions are high and to basically get over it.
Seems odd to me to say the least. I think counselor is trained more with working with individuals and not couples.
I'm sure there are better and worse counselors, just wondering others experiences with that. Our situation is tough because it also involves step family issues.
I seem to be "teamed up" on, there are no rules of engagement, just a continuation of what got us here in the first place. Yelling, blaming and NO communication. I brought this up at our last session and her response was that people yell when emotions are high and to basically get over it.
Seems odd to me to say the least. I think counselor is trained more with working with individuals and not couples.
I'm sure there are better and worse counselors, just wondering others experiences with that. Our situation is tough because it also involves step family issues.
Eventually, I gave up and agreed to whatever my wife and the counselor said (like you, they tended to team up on me). Now my wife thinks things are fine, but we grow more distant all the time. We don't fight much, mainly because I stopped caring.
Counseling did not help us gain what we lost (our husband/wife/lover emotional connection) but it did help us both stop living in denial, stop living with the elephant in the room, come clean about our true feelings and acceptance.
This doesn't sound like a very good counselor, and is likely sexist from your description. I would find someone new.
We both agreed that if he felt uncomfortable or felt he was being ganged up on we would find someone else. Luckily that didn't happen and she was able to help us communicate and "fight fair". We would go together each week and then one on one (one week I'd go alone, next he would) every other week for about 4 months. It really helped and definitely saved our marriage. Lately he's been angry and sullen so I am thinking we might need to go back. But regardless, you should BOTH be comfortable with your marriage counselor or you're just throwing your $$ away. Hope this helps.
We are looking for a different counselor. Just wish they would return my calls!!