Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
hello, I am 21 years old and I’m currently unemployed. In the past I haven’t had any successful relationships and I’ve been hurt by many guys at a young age. For a while I was reckless and I wanted to feel good about myself no matter what negative affect it had on others. I slept around with a lot of guys in hopes of being wanted. In hopes of finally having a successful relationship. The result of me being reckless left me with an incurable disease. I met my boyfriend of 10 months in November of last year. I found out I had herpes in December. He believes that I knew I had it and I purposely gave it to him because I was so careless and selfish in the past and not worried about how anything I do affects other. My past is a difficult subject for me and anxiety comes with any word that comes close to my past. I lie to my boyfriend about small things from my past that I’ve learned to block out to avoid feeling bad about myself and often times I don’t even think how it affects him or if he wouldn’t even be mad in the first place. I’m so selfish and worried about my own feelings that I’ve become willing to hurt others in order to feel good and I want to change. I want to be able to openly talk about my past. Even if it’s a bad one it’s an experience and a lesson.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
i hope things work out for you. learn to forgive yourself, its okay... you went through a phase but you arent your bad days. itll be okay.. look to making things better for you.
I was raised on the motto of "Forgive and Forget." Forget, I did. My entire childhood beyond the recorded demographics. Who needs to forgive what you can forget? Technically, I didn't lie about my past, but refusing to acknowledge it still ruined far more than relationships. It leaked through in more ways than I can count.
For what it's worth,
AA's other half, Alanon, has been my most consistent therapy thread in learning how to confront and heal the injuries that childhood worthy of forgetting instead of trying to live in denial of ^it^, all the way to getting past that crippling anxiety when reminded of any aspect of my childhood, much less *speaking* of ^it^.
But I am rambling. . . Mostly wanted to welcome you aboard. Hope you find healing companionship here.
I totally know how you feel. I get a lil teary thinking about what I went through 12yrs ago now.
I was 20 when I got HPV and now 32.
Your only 21. I describe my 20's as the harsh learning stage of my life.
All the hurt, confusion, stress and uncertainty that happens at your age is enough to drive you crazy. I was lost till i found Jesus at 27.
But all the pain your going through will eventually makes you a stronger, wiser and more compassionate and less judgemental adult later on and you will help someone else.
I really wanted to die at the time and i turned to drugs and alcohol which made things worse.
If you haven't already.
Find out everything you need to know.
Its hard to have to admit that you have a std. It might be a life sentence but its not a death sentence.
Its treatable, manageable and it very common just like HPV your not alone.
I found out just the other day they have match making sites just for ppl who have herpes and other std so you skip the embarrassing intro.
I so wish I could give you a real hug and talk over coffee in person.
Perhaps writining 2 list might help. 1 listing the things you can't control and 2. A list you can.
Burn the list you can't control. Or do whatever is symbolic to you of letting those things go.
Its going to be hard for awhile. So find something to self care just for you.
Just a sugesstion, exercise is a good start not only will you get fit but the anger and hurt will be released in more positive way. Maybe journaling, painting, listening to music?
Right now avicci-wake me up comes to mind.
You will get through it. Im now married have a 2yr old and one on the way. Not working but i hope to study and start fresh.
I do get depressed on and off still. When i dont eat right or go to the gym. But not so much over past things.
God bless you Key. I pray that you forgive yourself, be kind to yourself you are only human we make some crappy choices and many more to come, i pray your mind stop racing and peace be filled in your heart and it becomes clear what you need to do.
I hope I could help. Cos if I have my pain I went through is a blessing if I could help only you.
You are worthy to have a child one day and you are worthy to find that special forever partner who will love you unconditionally.
Atm your on a journey of becoming the real you.
Your only one of millions who've made the same bad choices before.
Not sure wot music you into but an Aussie artist Xavier Rudd songs - Let me be and Struggle is good to listen to relax.
And I agree that therapy could help you a great deal
You DON'T deserve to be beat up by yourself of anyone else.... We all have a past and with all due respect to your boyfriend past relationships or moments are really none of his business
If you want to share them that's up to you but this is your past not his..... I don't think I've ever talked with a mate much about prior men in my life.... Don't be so hard on yourself key
If I wrote this post how would you respond to me?.... I think you'd probably be very kind and forgiving.... Treat yourself as kindly as you'd treat a stranger...
Big squishy hug.....xo