Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I've been in a relationship for the past 5 years. He is a wonderful person who respects and believes in me. We share an affinity for wit and are best friends. We love each other very much.
But over the years it became harder to ignore the signs that the romantic part of our relationship was not going to work. I need verbal affection - he has great difficulty giving it. I'm more of a romantic - he's not. He's very independent and, while that has caused some trouble for me, it has also helped me to remain my own person, and for that I'm so grateful.
Last Thursday night, a conversation spiraled into our breaking up. It was ultimately his decision - I begged and pleaded, trying to bargain, but in the end it was impossible to ignore that he was right. That we wanted different relationships, and that it was something so central that we weren't going to be able to change or "fix" it. He needs time to be alone, to be introspective and to focus on creating something that has been missing in his life - a core group of close friends. While this isn't at all what I want, a part of me knew that this day would come.
I know that this is for the best. I know that (apparently) the pain will eventually lessen, and I'll be able to breathe again. I know I'm supposed to come out of this stronger and ready to find someone who can "give me what I need."
But right now, there's only pain. Searing, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing pain. We live together (with a third roommate), and are having to trade off sleeping elsewhere. We're both torn between wanting to see each other while we still can (before he moves out and we have to stop speaking for a while), and both being in so much pain when we're in the same room. We've done a lot of crying together. Waking up alone, whether it's in our room or at a friends, is almost too painful to handle.
Not contacting each other, when we've been best friends for so long, is and is going to be one of the hardest things either of us has done. I'm sure there's hardly more to say than "it'll get better eventually,' but does anyone have any advice for someone trying to accept that ending a very loving but ultimately unhealthy relationship is the right thing to do? I feel so lost.
But over the years it became harder to ignore the signs that the romantic part of our relationship was not going to work. I need verbal affection - he has great difficulty giving it. I'm more of a romantic - he's not. He's very independent and, while that has caused some trouble for me, it has also helped me to remain my own person, and for that I'm so grateful.
Last Thursday night, a conversation spiraled into our breaking up. It was ultimately his decision - I begged and pleaded, trying to bargain, but in the end it was impossible to ignore that he was right. That we wanted different relationships, and that it was something so central that we weren't going to be able to change or "fix" it. He needs time to be alone, to be introspective and to focus on creating something that has been missing in his life - a core group of close friends. While this isn't at all what I want, a part of me knew that this day would come.
I know that this is for the best. I know that (apparently) the pain will eventually lessen, and I'll be able to breathe again. I know I'm supposed to come out of this stronger and ready to find someone who can "give me what I need."
But right now, there's only pain. Searing, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing pain. We live together (with a third roommate), and are having to trade off sleeping elsewhere. We're both torn between wanting to see each other while we still can (before he moves out and we have to stop speaking for a while), and both being in so much pain when we're in the same room. We've done a lot of crying together. Waking up alone, whether it's in our room or at a friends, is almost too painful to handle.
Not contacting each other, when we've been best friends for so long, is and is going to be one of the hardest things either of us has done. I'm sure there's hardly more to say than "it'll get better eventually,' but does anyone have any advice for someone trying to accept that ending a very loving but ultimately unhealthy relationship is the right thing to do? I feel so lost.
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I need some plot development ideas for a book I'm writing. Here's the lead in:------@1630 she texted me, asking for gas money. "Are u at work? I have to work in a couple hours I don't have any gas barely I was wondering if u had 20$ by chance haven't been able to get any massages in I'm sorry to ask was just seeing"She agreed to meet me at the townhouse @1730. I asked her to call me before...
If not, then you will still remain friends. It just takes some time after the break up to heal. I dont think you will completely lose him from your life. The transition to friendship from a relationship takes months and months.
One wonders whether he/she is going to be up to the challenge. Rather than bemoaning the dissolution of the past, try to look forward to your future. First, find a place that you can call home, and make it your own. Once you have been able to recreate your comfort zone, it will be much easier to pick up the pieces and work them into your new life.
Stay busy.
I am so sorry you are sad.
I hope that made you giggle for a second at least.
Im sorry youre sad. Wish I could say something more than yes...it will get better over time.
I left my husband (ex) after 5 years. It was never a loving relationship...he was very abusive, but for me , I thought I was in love so Ido know what youre going through. I cried myself to sleep for about a yr and a half...and went to counseling for over a year ...and I did eventually get over him completely. Stayed single for about 9 yrs until I met my current bf who Iim completely in love with.
The one thing I do tell anyone who I talk to that is losing or has just lost their mate is that somewhere out there a man whos going to love you and be the right one for you , but if your trapped in athe wrong relationship you wont be giving the right one a chance to meet you.
Give it time. Youll be okay.