Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Yes poo is the most socially acceptable way to say it LOL. I moved out in June after 21 years with an angry abusive alcoholic. I learned things about myself along the journey. I grew up with a mother who was wonderful but had afflictions due to Childhood abuse from an alcoholic. I became compulsive about helping others who are dysfunctional. I also started a dog rescue and did that for 10 years. I now live alone and I'm on my journey of self-awareness and Wellness. I don't wish to have an enabling personality but I'm not sure just living alone with no one depending on me is going to cure that. Has anyone here dealt with this before? I was doing very well learning to take care of myself and only myself when out of the woodwork can a dysfunctional person who attached himself to me. Thankfully it's only online and he doesn't even live in my state. A bullet dodged (sort of). But I compulsively engaged him in conversation when he was telling me of his life woes and his mental health disorders. Why do I do this what attracts them to me? This man is actually a second cousin of my soon-to-be-ex-husband. He reached out to me not the other way around. I didn't even know he existed. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me? If I just ignore him am I being cruel? I've already suggested in a very clinical tone that he see a therapist. I'm just so mentally exhausted I don't want anyone to depend on me for a while. Help??
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
Having people 'dependent' on you isn't healthy for either of you... So it won't end up helping the person that you've set out to help if that makes sense
I would look up co dependent relationships and enabling.... There's a lot on the net about it....If this is something that you are really struggling with you can get some therapy for it or you could join an organization like Al Anon.... That's what they're about.... Big hug for you....
Re the cousin... You could just not be available... Have your own things to do or don't answer the phone.....xo
I am an educator and very passionate to help in their future! I like it when they come to me for help or encouragement!
No it would not be cruel to cut him off or ignore him. It's self preservation, and with someone people, you cannot give them an inch of room, because they will run with it.
I think it's just not something you've learned how to do. So it takes practice. The more you do it, the easier it will be to disassociate with certain people when it's apparent they're sucking you dry. Eventually they'll latch on to someone else.