Big hug for you mangy and a blessing...… I think putting yourself first is a wise thing to do.....xo

Thanks, SunCloud <3. It has been a rough month but it is for the best.

An addict: Oohh, I don't blame you for leaving him, good work. An addiction to anything seems to be a myopic tunnel-vision mental obsession. An obsession can be good, if it is channeled into something healthy. I hope and pray that he finds a healthy addiction to replace destructive drugs, like exercise, reading, writing, photography, some creative, productive endeavor. And I hope and pray you find something or someone new to invest your whole heart into. Best, M

I hope so, too. He is not a bad person, just a person with an illness.

I am going to focus on building up my own life and finding purpose, I think. I'm not ready to look for someone new.

Wow! So sorry for your pain, but so proud of you for doing the hard thing but the right thing for you! I'd find a couch to surf on ASAP or a cheap rent if you have an income!

Finding purpose is a good goal to have! What goals and dreams do you have? Your profile says you are in your early 20's? You can be anything and do anything you want! Do you live in Maine or just opted to use that for a user name? I ask b/c I used to live there and just want to encourage you that there are plenty of resources and employment for those who diligently seek them out! Feel free to ask me for help if you need it and I'll do what I can to point you in the right direction....

Understandable .... try getting him help or ask if he wants to change otherwise he will go deeper in to this toxic state. There might be some sort of emotional component regarding his behaviour therefore in order to help him as an act of kindness for the person you used to know,

Thanks for the encouragement, Sage7! I am employed and will soon be working a higher paying job. It's just awkward right now because my new job is a full county away. I am going to be moving in with my friend as soon as I start the new job in about 2 weeks, though. In the meantime I might just stay in a hotel for a bit.

I don't live in Maine, but I spent a good few years wandering around the USA when I was younger. I busked with a ukulele and found odd jobs to fund my travels, but was pretty broke most of the time. It was 100% worth it to see the country, though.

I loved Maine and definitely want to go back someday. I worked on organic farms out in New England for a fall/winter.

My dreams!! So many of them, haha. I want to spend this next year saving up money so I can get my own RV or convnerted bus and work up in Alaska for a while. I also want to start saving up money to get land so I can have a homestead someday. I loved working on small farms and homesteads when I was crossing the country.

I have been considering going to community college to study plant/animal biology, maybe get a job with the forest service someday. I love writing and want to get back into writing short stories, too.

It will all be possible when I get an RV of my own in a year or so. I just need to save money and make the most of being back in my hometown for a while.

There very much is an emotional component, Chilanx, as there is with most addicts. My brother used drugs to self medicate his bipolar disorder. My ex uses it to numb his depression and deal with deep pain regarding his biological father who was also an addict.

It's very sad. He knows I want him to get help, but he does not want it. I encouraged him to see a therapist or a psychiatrist, but he is stubborn about seeing doctors.

I feel that I have done all I can do. He is a gentle and good hearted person who is soft spoken, intelligent, and funny. That's why I fell in love with him.

Sadly, he does not see that about himself and is not certain he wants to get better. I will continue to encourage him to get help, but from a distance. It breaks my heart.

Yh I understand that you can only do so much.

You should tell him just because he sees a shrink does not mean he has to take pills sometimes its just away for you to learn how to unlock trapped emotional states which are locked in areas of your body which cause pain by unlocking them you will feel healthy

Honestly I’d focus solely on you right now and not get too caught up in trying to give him advice or guidance. Sounds like you’ve done all you can.

You are very emotionally intelligent to realize you cannot change someone who isn’t ready to change. Lots of people spend years with someone hoping, begging, sacrificing themself in hopes their partner will change or get healthy.

It’s hard to leave someone you love particularly when they aren’t well, and too, you sort of are mourning the loss of potential, you know what I mean? It’s not only loss of someone you love but also mourning what could be, if only he were healthy.

So big hug to you for knowing your limits in a relationship, what your deal breakers are, what your not willing to accept and taking time to cultivate your own life, independent of a relationship. That shows so much maturity for someone so young. Keep looking and moving forward!

Well done, you made a healthy step for both of you. Perhaps he will get help, perhaps he won't but you can decide to live healthier. That takes courage, good for you