Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
i know jealousy is bad but sometimes i cant help it.. i mean i trust my boyfriend and everything and he hasnt given me any reason to doubt him, hes always been really great to me, but i know he can easily find someone much better than me, hes so social and fun and talks to so many people and im the complete opposite.We have been together for about 2 years and this has never really been much of a problem before
but..
my boyfriend has this friend and she is always so close to him and im begining to think she has a thing for him, at first i tried not to think about it too much or over analyze anything, but some of my (our mutual) friends seem to think so too and have mentioned something about it to me and now i really am worried and i havent told my boyfriend anything about it because i wouldnt want to limit who he talks to or make it seem like i have a problem with him having female friends or anything like that, thats not the problem but i cant help but feel jealous sometimes. (im really trying so hard not to sound like a crazy paranoid girlfriend)
or maybe the problem is just her i mean i have never done anything to cause any problems with her and i have always been nice to her but i can tell she doesnt like me
to be honest, im a little ashamed of feeling like this i dont know if its just me or? should i just continue to ignore it? or how can i make these jealous feelings go away? im sorry for all the ranting i dont really have anyone to talk to about this
-
I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
-
Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
I have a similar set of dynamics in my own marriage. My husband's social skills and talents are enviable while my social anxiety can marginalize me in any social exchange. What I wouldn't give for a fraction of his social skill to call my own. . . My envy of his social skill often erupts as jealousy toward whomever he is socializing with when my social anxiety starts niggling. I counter this particular dynamic by stretching my own comfort zone and attempting to build my own social skills. In 30 plus years of plying this remedy, my social skills haven't grown significantly, but it has helped me be more at ease with my anti-social nature.
Dunno if this applies to your case, or not, but. . . Just sharing. . .
Gentle support while you figure own. Keep sorting. Your own answers are in there.
Figure out what your deal-breakers are. What are you OK with, and not OK with, as far as him and her interacting? Perhaps you are OK with her being there with the group, but you do not want him texting her. Obviously you don't want him spending any time alone with her. Once you are clear with this yourself, have a talk with your boyfriend. If everyone else has noticed she is attracted to him, I'll bet he has noticed too.
When my ex-h and I were dating, we did not spend time alone with members of the opposite sex. Even going on business trips with male co-workers would sometimes feel awkward for me, so I knew having male friends would spell trouble. If some woman would ever act flirty around him, he would tell me. I'm just telling you this as an example, that it is possible to get on the same page. Your relationship should be a higher priority to him than "friendship" with a female.
However if your friends are noticing it and if she doesn't want to be your friend just your boyfriends I would see big red flags and I'd talk to him about it
This isn't okay.... I'm sure he wouldn't like it if a guy wanted to be close to you but oust him ya know..... Big hug......xo
I ve been cheated on in my last 3 relationships and every time there was a suspicious feeling that I thought was jealousy and insecurity. I was right every time.
When someone is being faithful, I never had that kind of anxiety.
Being defensive over your phone or computer is a red flag
No one can make you feel good about yourself but YOU. I have to work on making myself the person that I truly want to be. I work on developing my spirituality (not religion), my health, my well being, work on improving talents, work on my abilities. I get the focus OFF OTHERS... and that means my husband sometimes. This is my advice... INVEST in YOU.... do things that make YOU feel good about YOU. What would you do for yourself if this man wasn't in your life? Where would you go,? What would you do for yourself? What interests would you pursue? We may be with another person, but our self esteem and how we feel about ourselves cannot come from THEM. EVER.
Maybe think about it.... become a fantastic YOU