Healthy Relationships Support Group
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So sometimes I can me jealous and I am trying to stop this behaviour but the girl I am seeing is not helping she is talking to a guy she had a filing with and texting him till three in the moring and I being over jealous or do I have a reason to be mad.
How long have you been "seeing" her?
Have you verbally committed that you both are exclusive?
Doesn't seem reasonable to me for late night texting to an old fling.
If its something SHE would mind if YOU did it, then maybe you need to reevaluate the relationship.
Jealousy is kind of a trust issue. Make sure you're both on the same page as far as what is and isn't proper behavior in the relationship.
Once that is established you need blind trust.
Yes...sometimes you get burned, but sometimes not.
That's the inherent risk we take in relationships!
Dont allow petty jealousy to kill something that might be good.
It's also possible she talks to him at this time because you are sleeping or she thinks you are? and she does not want to make you mad?
a lot of times there are no feelings there. So maybe she's texting him at all hours because she knows you are jealous and does not want to anger you and make it worse. The flip side is yes, there could be feelings there, but she is with you, not him. She is with you for a reason.
Telling her not to talk to him will only make her want to talk to him more. Try telling an alcholic not to drink. It doesnt really work that way. I would focus on what you and her have and not worry about her talking to other people unless it crosses the line. She chose you after all. Focusing on you and her will only make your relationship better, try to forget the petty things, it's you and her that matter most.
If it was a female friend she was texting would that make you mad?
They've been friends since she was 13 years old, they had a little sex fling (not unusual) but if you believe her that they're just friends and nothing more, what's there to be jealous and mad about?
If he trusts her then there's no reason to get mad or jealous. If he doesn't trust her then what's the point of continuing on in a relationship where there's any lack of trust.
About it being late at night, that depends on their schedule. My partner and I are in bed long before 3 a.m. so if I or he were texting at 3 a.m., that would raise an eyebrow.
Unless it's urgent, I don't text people, period, when I'm in company. If someone honours me with their company, the least I can do is give them my full attention.
Could always search her text message history when she's not around, just for some type of visual confirmation.
But, ultimately, jealousy is a wasted emotion, means you're always comparing yourself to him. She may be chatting with HIM, but she's in YOUR bed, not his (that you know of). Focus instead on being better than him, being conversationally active with her, so that she has no reason to go elsewhere for consolation or whatever it is that she's seeking by texting at 3am.
Women, or dare I say, PEOPLE, are good at "compartmentalizing" their feelings, putting you in one box, and him in another. All you can do to dispell this is by talking with her more, so that she has no TIME to text.