It is interesting that when my Relationship was shitty my friends all told me to dump my bf, one even stopped talking to me for a few months. Now that things are different and he has been giving a 100 % and treating me very well, my friends are envious...
Just can't get it right lol

It's always easy to be the critic when it involves others lives. So easy to tell someone to "dump him/her". It's usually much more complex than that. I agree that many relationships can and do get resolved by both putting in the effort.

I disagree, friends and family are probably the last ones I would turn to. Sometimes a subjective viewpoint is much more honest, or at least gives me food for thought.

I think viewpoints from all people, friend, family, counselors, strangers can make a difference in decision of whether to dump somebody or not. I do think that love kind of clouds our judgment though, and we do not make best decisions for ourselves.

My girlfriend is a chore. The funny thing is, though, that just gives me something to do. And no matter how compatible I may be, with say, my friend, I could never love my friend, like I love this opposite of me. She has the personality, disabilities, values, and appearance that I need, so when she slips up, with say, irrational accusations, I make it work with graceful ease. And when I make it work with graceful ease, I'm complimented when she calms down, by a deep appreciation and admiration of me, which I enjoy.

So my relationship doesn't sound completely healthy, but I ensure it works out like no other, because it makes me happy, and no one else unhappy--and that's all that matters.

As long as your relationships with family and friends are healthy! Overall, mine are, but there are sometimes misunderstandings in our communication.

Ha Ha! That is crazy!
I don't think it is wise at all to feel that friends and family would know what is best for me.
I am fully confident that I always know what is best for me and can't think of any circumstances where I would have a clouded subjective view.
I have known people who have had friends and family weigh in and try to tell a person that the object of their affection is all wrong for them. I actually have a sister in law who is always pointing out my short comings to my husband. she has caused trouble in our marriage many times. I guess she feels he is too stupid and has a clouded subjective view. ha ha.. I also feel if he listens to her and lets what she says make him view our relationship as "unhealthy" that is his problem. I just remain who I am and if she rouses his fears and makes him think things are "amiss" he will have to sort that out for himself.
. She was also like this with her son and she did lots of harm to her Mother/Son relationship when she tried to point out how horrible of a person his first love was.... but I'm sure she feels she was doing him a favor.

Even when my daughter was a very young child, I let her choose her own friends. She had this one friend that I could not stand! I put aside my feelings because I wanted my daughter to build her own sense of self and I knew that I am me and my daughter is my daughter. She must make her own choices about people.

I feel that telling people what is good for them is just another way of telling them that you think they are too stupid to run their own life.

My mother has discounted pretty much every woman as "too this" or "too that". My father's been pretty hands-off about the whole thing, saying "I can't help you with that" and "you're old enough to make up your own mind". He did rightly point out that a lass 20 years my junior was too young for me.

Looking upon my relationships with family and friends--they're not always healthy, usually we stuff our inadequate, unsatisfying communication with food and alcohol, but they are comfortable.

My friends and family didn't openly disapprove of my last relationship but there were sporadic concerns they brought up. And they were all points that I never saw myself. It was such a gradual shift that I hadn't realized myself how much I had changed for the worse. About a month out of the relationship, I was able to really take a step back and see where the problems were. I didn't like the person I had become and felt awful that my friends and family had been subjected to it.

It makes sense to me that friends and family would be just critics, they have invested the time after all to get to KNOW you, something a stranger has yet to do.

I was fortunate never to attract critics of me during my romantic years, and had I done so I think I would have told them to stop meddling in my business.

I'm a big boy, just as koolman's dad similarly told him he was.