Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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heart513 09/20/2008

Hi,
I, like everyone, want a healthy relationionship. I'm willing to participate in the support group and admit that, I am having a lot of trouble having healthy relationships. Hi ladies, I could really use more friends, that's what I need. Men too, I could use some male friends, I have none.

SO, I have been in a verbally abusive relationship with a man recently and I would like to not do that again. I let it go on for six months and now I'm struggling with my depression again. . . how do I get back my sense of self worth?

deleted_user 09/20/2008

Do things that make you fel good. Things you take pride in. Things your good at. Realize it was him, not you. Nothing about you condones that type of treatment by another person.

koolman 09/20/2008

Learn a skill or trade (if you don't do one already) and do it repeatedly until you hone it to perfection. Pride in a job well done (and money earned from that) helps give us all a sense of self-worth.

jimmysquirrel 09/21/2008

well, define yourself. Remember what it is that you liked about yourself before this relationship... Also, the best verbal abuse(i actually mean the most effective) is that which plays on an insecurity the person already has... So know that he used the things that you trusted him with, the things that one should be able to trust to a lover, and twisted them so that he could hurt you.
Know this, that the way he treated you is independent of logic and reason. I am glad that you were able to leave him too. You have spunk... and don't sell yourself short, because many people that get into abusive relationships... it takes them years, sometimes never because of how insidiously the abuser gets into their heads...
you got out, that in and of itself is something to be proud of.
Now, koolman... i seem to remember hearing that advice before.... hmmm... (hehehe)

koolman 09/24/2008

Also, love a higher power (I'm turning to the Holy Trinity at the moment). It brings a shaft of light into a world of darkness for me.

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