Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
So~. A good friend of mine (J) owns a hypno therapy center. He's a brilliant man, truly. I'm always intrigued by his work and view on how us humans operate.
Yesterday he called, just to catch up a bit. I'm not sure I remember how we got on the topic of push-pull relationships, but he asked a personal question about my former "crush".
The guy I call my "crush" is a push-pull relationship in which I quit playing as of last week when he pushed a little too far. I'm done with the game. I wish him luck, I really do, but I'm letting go of his non-sense.
I may have shocked (J) with my answer, but he pipes up and says "Michele! WTF?! Is this guy a 13 year old? Seriously? How old is he?! Some people reach the age of 13 and never grow beyond that"
I responded..and then his "professional" side came out. He said that we are both imbalanced. That I have "too much 'male' energy". He explained it in comparison to magnets. When you have two strong positive magnets, they will initially repel and then when forced together, one of them will "flip"
Makes sense.
So~ I have too much male "energy". I'm a can-do kid, thanks to my Dad. As a single mom, guess what? I have no choice, but to get things done. Yes, including the driveway ( and 50 fkng feet of snow!), the lawn, the vehicles, etc. I can't change that. I actually don't even mind.
What J. Was getting at, is that I need to find an over the top alpha male, so that I will "flip" into the passive, divine feminine.
Umm....been there, done that, gets me in trouble every time.
WTF?!
I'm doomed! Just doomed!
Balance, right? Isn't that how relationship work?
Yesterday he called, just to catch up a bit. I'm not sure I remember how we got on the topic of push-pull relationships, but he asked a personal question about my former "crush".
The guy I call my "crush" is a push-pull relationship in which I quit playing as of last week when he pushed a little too far. I'm done with the game. I wish him luck, I really do, but I'm letting go of his non-sense.
I may have shocked (J) with my answer, but he pipes up and says "Michele! WTF?! Is this guy a 13 year old? Seriously? How old is he?! Some people reach the age of 13 and never grow beyond that"
I responded..and then his "professional" side came out. He said that we are both imbalanced. That I have "too much 'male' energy". He explained it in comparison to magnets. When you have two strong positive magnets, they will initially repel and then when forced together, one of them will "flip"
Makes sense.
So~ I have too much male "energy". I'm a can-do kid, thanks to my Dad. As a single mom, guess what? I have no choice, but to get things done. Yes, including the driveway ( and 50 fkng feet of snow!), the lawn, the vehicles, etc. I can't change that. I actually don't even mind.
What J. Was getting at, is that I need to find an over the top alpha male, so that I will "flip" into the passive, divine feminine.
Umm....been there, done that, gets me in trouble every time.
WTF?!
I'm doomed! Just doomed!
Balance, right? Isn't that how relationship work?
We don't have to be slaves to our experience.
I think it goes back to when we talked about, in the other thread, that we are simply who we are. If it's being self-assured, independent, able to get shit done kinda girls...then so be it. I wouldn't, and couldn't, at almost 35, flip my entire character and personality around just to "match" someone, you know?
It's like my friend who is married: she falls out when her H goes on business trips for four days because she is "afraid to sleep alone" or "can't believe how much work she has to do when he's gone" and I just listen, but think, "Yeah...been doing it for four years...four days? That's a blink of an eye".
Experiences shape us...as we get older, our memories get longer. We either learn from/grow from our experiences, or we don't.
You have learned so much from your past marriage...and recognizing when "crush" pushed too far...girl, don't become super helpless now!!!
Balance will happen...and it doesn't mean you, or me, or anyone has to flip their entire personality like it was wrong to begin with...it just didn't complement that particular person.
I just thought it was really interesting what he said...about "flipping"
Nope.
Won't
Happen.
But holy hell...I've been single forever already, who cares!
All I have to say is...I refuse to change or conform. Take me as I am, or see ya!
Sadly, I AM attracted next to never....and when I am....it's alway to the alpha dog!
My brain needs to be rewired....seriously....gets me in trouble...every time.
I think my independence and self-assuredness turns them off because I'm not needy and desperate.
Hmmmm....I wish I would attract men that use the balls they have...
Next to no one turns my head...which is why I got the ultimate find f*ck from my so called crush. Grrr...
He knows he makes my head spin...pathetic.
My ex was supremely alpha...well... He has to be...to have the job he has...for Gods sake...he's a trained fighting machine.
Bravado gets me every time....ugh.