Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I'm here on Dailystrength for the second time. First was 25 (!) years ago going through a divorce.
I've been through a lot since then.
Now I'm 2 years into my 3rd marriage and battling insecurity.
My husband "reconnected " with his ex-wife 6 weeks after we got married. He lobbied for a polyamorous situation for 6 months and then dropped it because he said he realized he was trying to integrate her into our life out of guilt.
Since then the romantic and bawdy talk between them has stopped but they are in touch several times a week. The have 3 adult children- 2 sons live with us in the house I paid for.
so that's calming down and now he's connecting with women in his bike club.
His rationalization behind it all is wearing thin. He knows how much this bothers me. We fight about it every few days.
I need to get the strength to leave.
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Now that I am not talking to my whatever best friend, I realized that her life is full of drama. I had grown tired of hearing her stories about her boyfriend many months ago. She basically had been monopolizing conversations for that long too. She pretty much stopped asking me questions about me. I passed her in front of her classroom the other day and didn't even look at her. I am...
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Does anyone here have a comfort item you carry with you when you go out? For example this is my doll, Annie, and I've recently been bringing her with me when I run errrands flor have an appointment. Holding her comforts me. I've bought her clothes, crocheted for her, I recently bought a personalized blanket with her name on it. Just wondering if anyone else has a comfort item.
From what you're writing he's not committed and that is a huge part of what marriage is about
You deserve so much better
Big hug....xo
My head is spinning to understand the truth.
There is that expression, when people show you who they are, believe them. That really is the truth.
Last night we had a serious conversation about flirting and crossing lines.
He doesn’t know I know about the emails.
He insists he communicates with men and women exactly the same. Says he needs autonomy and to be allowed to be himself.
I get that and he should be. It’s just now quite clear the himself that he is really isn’t the man for me.
If you've paid for the house since marriage I would talk to a lawyer
The longer your married the more he would be entitled to I'm ? guessing
Do what you need to, to protect yourself
You know now why he's getting married over and over
I would think about cutting your losses
He lies, and doesn't seem to consider how much he's hurting you
He won't change sweetie if it's this bad already
He's a womanizer
I wrote this on the break up group post but we can't change other people, we can only change ourselves. So the real change lies within you.
I am sure this is very distressing and hurtful. The worst thing is he likely doesn't care if you know or not. He wanted to have a third woman in the mix with his ex-wife and he resents you said no. One woman is not enough for him.
A liar often just lies for the heck of it. He doesn't care who he hurts. Because he hurts all those women he flirts with or is having sex with.
I wish you the best. Take some time to step back and rethink things. Be strong and know you deserve better.