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Im sorry this is a long story, but I need some major help..i have nowhere to turn. There is more to this story then what I put, but this is the most recent..
Me and my husband have been married 22 yrs.
I thought we had a great marriage until a year ago we started hanging out with a single girl friend. All three of us had a great time together. She is a single mom and her ex husband wants nothing to do with her kids. She would ask us (mainly my husband) to help with little things here and there. She lost her house last fall, so we helped her move and then she would send out messages and ask him to come over and help fix little things in her apartment. I would sometimes go over there and help, but it was more towards him.
So I really thought nothing of it when she started texting my husband and asking him questions regarding baseball things for her son. Well, one day she was over and i grabbed her phone and i noticed that her and his textes were more than just messages. They was (to me) sexy emoji things. I didn't want to go into it while she was there, so I asked him about it. he just said it was friends messing around. I asked him to stop it. Well....he didn't. I found out through our phone bill that they were texting on a daily basis. I asked him about it. He said that she really needed someone to talk to about her son. He is having some major issues. I said ok, I believed him. I just asked him to keep me posted on how things were going and if they start talking again. Now this friend was still coming over to our house and hanging out. There was a few times that their flirting really bothered me to where I thought something was going on..i just kept it to myself. But something just didnt feel right.
Well....a few months pass and he started to act kinda different. i didn't know what was up, but I just had a feeling something between these two was going on. So I asked him. He said they hadn't talked for a while. but my gut kept telling me he was lying. One day I decided to look at his phone. I noticed that there was a picture of this friend in his sent text file. I asked him about it. He said that they were talking again and he sent her this picture to be funny. It was a picture of me and her at a concert. he cropped me out of the picture to be funny. I just lost it. I asked him again why was he texting her behind my back. Of course he didn't know what to say. He just said that they are JUST Friends talking, and that her son was really being bad. Doing bad things and she just needed a friend. She asked him NOT to tell me what was going on with her son. I still couldnt understand why he was texting her behind my back. I asked him to tell her that if she needs to talk, to talk with me too. Not just him.
About a month ago she texted him to see if he could help her with going to her store unit to get something. At that time she told him that her son quit the 8th grade baseball team. So I know she was having issues with him again. So about a week later I asked him if they had been talking and he told me no. Now to make things worse, we are going through some money problems. So for about 2 weeks, we have not been too talkative to each other because he was angry with me about the money issues. Again, i just knew something wasn't right. On Thursday of last week he worked 2nd shift. He had to work this shift because he was training on a new machine. So on Friday I decided to look at his phone again. My gut was telling me something was up. I found that they had been emailing each other through his work email. He forgot to deleted from his phone. As I was reading the email I was shaking sooooo bad. It said that they wanted to get together that night after work for dinner. But he couldnt because of the time frame. It also said I miss you. I have no idea who did the I miss you first. I was so hurt that they were doing this. AGAIN going behind my back and also planning on meeting for dinner and not tell me. When I asked him about this he was shocked that it was still on his phone. He thought he deleted it. My heart is still hurt. He told me that he didnt really know why he was doing this. he just needed someone to talk to and she was a good person to do that. He has felt so alone for that last month or so because of our issues.
I dont know how to feel about this whole thing. I really feel that something is going on more then what he is telling me. He tells me that they are ONLY friends. He likes to put We are all friends, but I havent felt like SHE has been a true friend to me. I dont want to see her for a while. I want nothing to do with her. But he asks me yesterday if he is allowed to talk to her and if WE are going to stop being friends with her totally. I just dont know what to do
So my question is, AM I being a terrible person about not wanting to be friends any more? Am I being a bad wife because he has a good friend that he talks to that is a woman and I dont want them to talk?
I have been struggling with this for a year..i just dont know if I AM THE bad guy or are they?????
I just need some advice..i really dont have anyone to talk to.
M
Me and my husband have been married 22 yrs.
I thought we had a great marriage until a year ago we started hanging out with a single girl friend. All three of us had a great time together. She is a single mom and her ex husband wants nothing to do with her kids. She would ask us (mainly my husband) to help with little things here and there. She lost her house last fall, so we helped her move and then she would send out messages and ask him to come over and help fix little things in her apartment. I would sometimes go over there and help, but it was more towards him.
So I really thought nothing of it when she started texting my husband and asking him questions regarding baseball things for her son. Well, one day she was over and i grabbed her phone and i noticed that her and his textes were more than just messages. They was (to me) sexy emoji things. I didn't want to go into it while she was there, so I asked him about it. he just said it was friends messing around. I asked him to stop it. Well....he didn't. I found out through our phone bill that they were texting on a daily basis. I asked him about it. He said that she really needed someone to talk to about her son. He is having some major issues. I said ok, I believed him. I just asked him to keep me posted on how things were going and if they start talking again. Now this friend was still coming over to our house and hanging out. There was a few times that their flirting really bothered me to where I thought something was going on..i just kept it to myself. But something just didnt feel right.
Well....a few months pass and he started to act kinda different. i didn't know what was up, but I just had a feeling something between these two was going on. So I asked him. He said they hadn't talked for a while. but my gut kept telling me he was lying. One day I decided to look at his phone. I noticed that there was a picture of this friend in his sent text file. I asked him about it. He said that they were talking again and he sent her this picture to be funny. It was a picture of me and her at a concert. he cropped me out of the picture to be funny. I just lost it. I asked him again why was he texting her behind my back. Of course he didn't know what to say. He just said that they are JUST Friends talking, and that her son was really being bad. Doing bad things and she just needed a friend. She asked him NOT to tell me what was going on with her son. I still couldnt understand why he was texting her behind my back. I asked him to tell her that if she needs to talk, to talk with me too. Not just him.
About a month ago she texted him to see if he could help her with going to her store unit to get something. At that time she told him that her son quit the 8th grade baseball team. So I know she was having issues with him again. So about a week later I asked him if they had been talking and he told me no. Now to make things worse, we are going through some money problems. So for about 2 weeks, we have not been too talkative to each other because he was angry with me about the money issues. Again, i just knew something wasn't right. On Thursday of last week he worked 2nd shift. He had to work this shift because he was training on a new machine. So on Friday I decided to look at his phone again. My gut was telling me something was up. I found that they had been emailing each other through his work email. He forgot to deleted from his phone. As I was reading the email I was shaking sooooo bad. It said that they wanted to get together that night after work for dinner. But he couldnt because of the time frame. It also said I miss you. I have no idea who did the I miss you first. I was so hurt that they were doing this. AGAIN going behind my back and also planning on meeting for dinner and not tell me. When I asked him about this he was shocked that it was still on his phone. He thought he deleted it. My heart is still hurt. He told me that he didnt really know why he was doing this. he just needed someone to talk to and she was a good person to do that. He has felt so alone for that last month or so because of our issues.
I dont know how to feel about this whole thing. I really feel that something is going on more then what he is telling me. He tells me that they are ONLY friends. He likes to put We are all friends, but I havent felt like SHE has been a true friend to me. I dont want to see her for a while. I want nothing to do with her. But he asks me yesterday if he is allowed to talk to her and if WE are going to stop being friends with her totally. I just dont know what to do
So my question is, AM I being a terrible person about not wanting to be friends any more? Am I being a bad wife because he has a good friend that he talks to that is a woman and I dont want them to talk?
I have been struggling with this for a year..i just dont know if I AM THE bad guy or are they?????
I just need some advice..i really dont have anyone to talk to.
M
I told him not to take her calls anymore and not to go to their home either. I told him he is not their marriage counselor and we have our own problems he needed to focus on. I told him the couple needed to speak with a professional not him. I informed him if he chooses to continue counseling this woman I will divorce his ass so fast he would not know what hit him. I told him if he neglect my warning, then our marriage is over and I will find comfort in another man's arms. Well he took my advice because and I never heard about that couple again.
I suggest you tell this woman never to call you or your man again. Let him know you are serious and mean business. You must act now before things go too far. I wish you best.
She wants to take your man away from you because she sees you as an easy target. Don't be a pushover. Stand up for your family if you want to save the marriage.. Tell her to go fine some other hero to cry to.
With him tell him not to take you for granted. It is not always greener on the other side. He is enjoying the attention of another woman. Make sure not to neglect him. Spice things up a bit. Go out more on dates, do things he likes.