Healthy Relationships Support Group

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I am totally confused

LetsTalk
LetsTalk

I have been talking to this man off and on for years. I have always been ready to meet him just as friends to see where is goes.he says he like me and desires me,but I can't get him to follow through with meeting. He is not married ,never has been.He is 58 and we enjoy talking one the phone.We recently took a break from each other because of him not meeting me. So now I find out he is pursuring another women he works with.He tells me he still likes me,but wants to see where this goes. He said God has put this in his heart with her.He has done this to me before withanother lady.They would go out for ice cream,but the women was not ready for anthing yet. so back to me he starts the I like you and wants to be with me,but wount meet me. I am I crazy for hanging on or hoping he will follow through. I want so much to be happy and find someone to be with. But all his promises of we will meet soon,don't give up on me is crazy. I don't know how he can't put the effort into us,but does with these other ladies. I am so confused. Just need another veiw on this.



Thanks for listening.

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Move on...… He plays games..... I wouldn't wait for him one more day..... Big hug.... I would lose his number....xo
rmb
rmb
Move on indeed. Don’t be anyone’s consolation prize.
lucillegem
lucillegem
if im being honest it feels as if he is keeping you around as a plan b. And you deserve better darling, be with someone who wants to see you and doesn't make excuses about it... and the other women, just verifies he is a playboy.
Though, its totally up to you, if u want to have a serious talk about the standing of the relationship, give him another chance... you can.
that be my advice! whatever you decide, know you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and knows your worth!!
arfie
arfie
I have to wonder if you have found the main reason he's still single at 58.

I'd have been LONG gone years ago or at the very least have him in the shrug section of my address book.
APieceOfMyHeart
APieceOfMyHeart
I agree with everyone- move on. If he can't take your desire to simply meet as friends seriously for years, something fishy is going on and he doesn't value what you want. If he's doing this, then perusing another woman only to then come back to you, I agree with lucillegem, sounds like you are his back-up plan. And you deserve better than that.

I'm also wondering how much of what he's told you do you know, for sure, is true? And not just because that's what he's told you? Something about a 58 year old man not meeting someone that they claim to be interested in for years sounds like there's more to the story than he is letting on.

In the end though, it is up to you. But, I believe you deserve better than this.
LetsTalk
LetsTalk
Just a update, I have broke it off with this guy.I told him he can't have his cake and eat it to. That I am worth more then this crazy up and down emotional roller coaster that he wants me to stay on. I feel like a weight has been lifted off. Thanks friends .
rmb
rmb
Good for you!
Cobalt
Cobalt
Glad to hear. Hope you can find someone else close to you that you also enjoy spending time with.
carolsh
carolsh
Maybe he does have someone in his life or he just wants you there for support nothing more. Hard to move on sometimes from our feelings but he appears to just want a supportive friend to lean on.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Good for you Lets..... You deserve good things in your life..... It's great that you're doing what's in your best interest
Bravo!!….xo
Lblue17
Lblue17
I had a friend like that. Many people these days itvseems just wantvto text or talk with no intentions of meeting or hanging out unfortunately. Let him onow u want more of a in person friendship. If he doesn’t want that then move on for ur own happiness. But also he may be in a relationship and wont meet bc of that. U never know with some people.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
I'm glad to hear that you've moved on from this person.

You mentioned that you haven't actually met him. Are you certain he wasn't catfishing you?
urbangardener
urbangardener
He has told you and shown you what relationship he wants with you. He was merely marking time with you and you were something to do. I am sorry you've been gullible to his lies and his deception. Some people are just smooth operators or catfish people, as MrC said. This might not even be a real person. Has he borrowed money or asked for money from you?I am sorry.

And likely the other person, if she is real, if he is real, well the other person is not content to allow him to just be a phone buddy. This other person likely has rules and demands he date or get lost. So next time, don't be so agreeable to someone who is "unavailable" or so wishy-washy. Be demanding of respect.
Sarah.in.repair
Sarah.in.repair
F*ck him
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