Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hi...so I've never posted here before but thought I'd air my frustrations, maybe it will help me move on??
Anyway, I met this man about 3 years ago on a dating website we chatted alot then decided to meet. After about 4 months I asked the dreaded question of where this is heading..His response "you never know". After that he stopped talking to me. Then he came back and disappeared then back again and gone again, he's never gone more than a few months without contacting. Now he's back, but keeps himself busy, before he had kids in the house now they are both away in college. So now we've been talking off and on for another 4 months but we haven't seen each other in about 2 years. He's talked about starting back up and I told him we need to discuss that in person so we are suppose to meet for coffee..3 times its been scheduled 3 times it hasn't happened. So I finally I told him off (not the first time), said he was selfish, a narcissist etc, missed his last chance etc...why does he keep coming back, why can't he leave me alone. He knows how I feel about him and it drives me crazy because I don't understand why I continue to have feelings for him. He's a good talker, talks about things that he shows no interest in otherwise, makes comments about us living together etc..I tell him he lives in a fantasy world. I know the biggest response will be just to not respond to him, believe me I try he sends me a message and I ignore it, but that only last a week or so..Why does he have so much control over me yet has done nothing to deserve it...I've had other men in my life that I have had no problem ending things with but not with him..I can't force him or change him..I need help!!!
Anyway, I met this man about 3 years ago on a dating website we chatted alot then decided to meet. After about 4 months I asked the dreaded question of where this is heading..His response "you never know". After that he stopped talking to me. Then he came back and disappeared then back again and gone again, he's never gone more than a few months without contacting. Now he's back, but keeps himself busy, before he had kids in the house now they are both away in college. So now we've been talking off and on for another 4 months but we haven't seen each other in about 2 years. He's talked about starting back up and I told him we need to discuss that in person so we are suppose to meet for coffee..3 times its been scheduled 3 times it hasn't happened. So I finally I told him off (not the first time), said he was selfish, a narcissist etc, missed his last chance etc...why does he keep coming back, why can't he leave me alone. He knows how I feel about him and it drives me crazy because I don't understand why I continue to have feelings for him. He's a good talker, talks about things that he shows no interest in otherwise, makes comments about us living together etc..I tell him he lives in a fantasy world. I know the biggest response will be just to not respond to him, believe me I try he sends me a message and I ignore it, but that only last a week or so..Why does he have so much control over me yet has done nothing to deserve it...I've had other men in my life that I have had no problem ending things with but not with him..I can't force him or change him..I need help!!!
if he is local to your area. even more so.
Look at this website, it describes the personality and dysfunction to a T - especially what they do and say when dating:
http://www.lisaescott.com/
I broke up with a narcissist a few months ago and am still recovering. Best of luck to you :)
draw the line. tell him that his behavior needs to stop. let him know that his actions are WRONG. and unless he's serious, you can't and won't keep giving in.....then.....
CHANGE YOUR NUMBER(s) -- the ones he knows -- WITHOUT giving him a heads up about it. don't contact him. IF you get that weak feeling and can't help but contact him, BLOCK your number!
keep yourself busy. stop checking your phone for his calls, texts, or voicemails.
once you start feeling stronger in getting away from this hold he has on you, start your search for a healthy relationship.