Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
This thread is about one of my husband's female friends. All 3 of us are in our late thirties/early forties.
My husband was told by him mom when he was younger that he was a good listener. He feels that his calling is to help others, male and female, with their problems. One person whom he helped a couple of months ago was a friend he met through one of his ex girlfriends several years ago. He met her at the church his ex went to. From what he told me the only contact he had with her was either by phone or through facebook. At the moment it is facebook. All three of us live in the same city in Texas, but she lives about an hour away from us.
About 2 months ago she called our home phone number and left a message asking him to call her. She sounded frustrated. He called her, but he got her voice mail. He was finally able to reach her, and when he did, she let him know that she and her fiance, whom she met in Wisconsin while on vacation over a year ago, broke up. The conversation was short because he was at work at the time. Then she called him at our home number again while both of us were at home. Both of us were in the same area when she called. He let her know that he was married, and then she continued to talk about the breakup of her relationship with her fiance. My husband does not know if her relationship was long distance or if her boyfriend moved to the same city she lives in before proposing to her. He gave her some encouraging words. After the phone call ended, he let me know that she told him that she was happy about his recent marriage to me and that she would not do anything to cause problems in our marriage.
The following evening she called again, but since my husband was busy, he chose not to answer the phone. We have caller id and an answering machine. He recognized her phone number. She did not leave a message. Over the course of about 3 weeks, she continued to call and not leave messages. She called about 6 times after the first time she called and did not leave a message. She called during the afternoon when both of us were at work. She did stop calling at one point.
My questions are....
For future reference...
How much relationship advice should a husband give to a single female friend?
To what extent should a husband give relationship advice to a single female friend?
When should the wife step in if needed?
My husband was told by him mom when he was younger that he was a good listener. He feels that his calling is to help others, male and female, with their problems. One person whom he helped a couple of months ago was a friend he met through one of his ex girlfriends several years ago. He met her at the church his ex went to. From what he told me the only contact he had with her was either by phone or through facebook. At the moment it is facebook. All three of us live in the same city in Texas, but she lives about an hour away from us.
About 2 months ago she called our home phone number and left a message asking him to call her. She sounded frustrated. He called her, but he got her voice mail. He was finally able to reach her, and when he did, she let him know that she and her fiance, whom she met in Wisconsin while on vacation over a year ago, broke up. The conversation was short because he was at work at the time. Then she called him at our home number again while both of us were at home. Both of us were in the same area when she called. He let her know that he was married, and then she continued to talk about the breakup of her relationship with her fiance. My husband does not know if her relationship was long distance or if her boyfriend moved to the same city she lives in before proposing to her. He gave her some encouraging words. After the phone call ended, he let me know that she told him that she was happy about his recent marriage to me and that she would not do anything to cause problems in our marriage.
The following evening she called again, but since my husband was busy, he chose not to answer the phone. We have caller id and an answering machine. He recognized her phone number. She did not leave a message. Over the course of about 3 weeks, she continued to call and not leave messages. She called about 6 times after the first time she called and did not leave a message. She called during the afternoon when both of us were at work. She did stop calling at one point.
My questions are....
For future reference...
How much relationship advice should a husband give to a single female friend?
To what extent should a husband give relationship advice to a single female friend?
When should the wife step in if needed?
When my Ex cheated...and then we eventually divorced, I found support in some unlikely places. People I didn't realize were there for me almost stepped out of the woodwork. For a spell, I was consumed with my divorce and everything and it's all I could think about. I can empathize with someone who is reaching out and looking "needy" because, sometimes, things happen when we need to need for a bit.
I just really don't get the impression she is trying anything beyond getting advice. I really don't.
When I was married, I didn't assume or think that all "single" women were out for my H...god, I mean, it's not like a switch gets flipped and single women, or newly single women, are all of a sudden on the sexual prowl for any man they find. Divorce/break ups/never being in a relationship doesn't equal crazy or man-stealing or anything...sometimes, single women have married friends. It happens.