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Has anyone dealth with someone who is emotionally immature?
My husband's ex girlfriend is emotionally immature. All of us are in our forties. She is a teenager in an adult body. She has the brain and the emotions of a teenager. He dated her twice. In the late 1990's and back in 2009.
Recently she broke up with a male friend of my husbands. Turns out the two of them date, break up, get back together, break up and on and on and on.
She called my husband to let him know that he had broken up with her. She has also texted him at work and at home wihen both of us are at home. Her texts are... hi, how are you?, what are you doing?, good morning, good night, have you spoken to *some person she was friends with* and so on. If he does not respond in a while, she then sends him a text asking him if he is mad at her.
She wants him to be her friend. According to my husband, she does not have many friends. Most of her friends no longer talk to her.
My husband told me that he wants to show her what it means to be a Christian and treat her the way that Jesus would treat her.
He does not want to abandon her as a friend.
My husband's ex girlfriend is emotionally immature. All of us are in our forties. She is a teenager in an adult body. She has the brain and the emotions of a teenager. He dated her twice. In the late 1990's and back in 2009.
Recently she broke up with a male friend of my husbands. Turns out the two of them date, break up, get back together, break up and on and on and on.
She called my husband to let him know that he had broken up with her. She has also texted him at work and at home wihen both of us are at home. Her texts are... hi, how are you?, what are you doing?, good morning, good night, have you spoken to *some person she was friends with* and so on. If he does not respond in a while, she then sends him a text asking him if he is mad at her.
She wants him to be her friend. According to my husband, she does not have many friends. Most of her friends no longer talk to her.
My husband told me that he wants to show her what it means to be a Christian and treat her the way that Jesus would treat her.
He does not want to abandon her as a friend.
In my opinion (and from my personal experience) he should need to end the friendship if you feel threatened by her. If you feel threatened by her, then you need to re-examine other aspects of your relationship with him.
If there is complete trust, then their friendship and spending time together shouldnt be an issue. Its not like if she came on to him hes be unable to think for himself and resist her, right?
I say this ONLY because their friendship is pre-existing. I would feel differently if he met her after your relationship with him began.
A caged bird isnt really yours, if you know what I mean.
As far as the actual issue of their friendship goes, he either enjoys it or he doesnt. You said he doesnt want to abandon her, but you didnt say if he genuinely WANTS her friendship.
Don't you think there's an element of disrespect in this woman hitting on him? ...and..that being the case..the same applies to him if he continues to see her after she has...repeatedly..disrespected his wife?
( sorry, spunkycat..if this is " highjacking " your thread?)
jc
Taking away someones free will and choice doesnt prove they love you.
Some people prefer dogs to cats. They dont think cats are as smart as dogs because dogs come to you when theyre told.
But cats come to you by choice.
Which is love?
BUT, that is not really all that relevant, seeing as I didnt see the OP point out that this woman has hit on her husband or been necessarily inappropriate with him, simply asked for his friendship.
Jesus can accompish big healings, most ppl however can manage only small healings. Unless dh is a brain scientist, I think he is fooling himself to think he can help this (am I wrong?) manipulator.
best to you and your family, :)
Caleb
Since she has the mind and emotions of a teenager, he has to break everything down to her in a way that an adolescent would understand.
She has a difficult time understanding the word no. This one comes from my husband and the male friend whom his ex dated off and on.
For example: when she was dating my husband's male friend, there was a time when he needed some space from her because she was texting him constantly. He asked her to stop texting him. But... she did not stop texting him. She would text him over and over on a daily basis for two months. He had to keep on texting back 'please stop texting me' over and over. She finally stopped after two months. Then there was the time when one of her female friends asked her mom to tell her to stop texting her because she would constantly do that. My husband's emotionally immature ex would not listen to her own mother. She continued to constantly text her female friend even though that friend had asked her mom to let her know that she needs to stop doing that.
If you look up on the internet how to deal with an emotionally immature adult, you will find out what she is like.
If not, find her a good therapist, have your husband change his cell phone number and put it to rest. I see only bad things coming from this.
Hes either a cheater or hes not, it has nothing to do with who hes friends with.
"find her a therapist"
Oy.
OP - I say voice your concerns and how you feel about it, then work on coming to a mutual compromise. THEN - support him with how he wants to handle his friendship.
You can only control yourself - your actions, words, and responses. You either like who your husband is friends with or you dont. You either trust him or you dont. Figure out if its a deal breaker and give him the freedom to make his own choice - he will be less likely to choose someone else.
Why are you against the idea of my husband finding a therapist for her?
My husband's emotionally immature ex is in her forties. However, she is emotionally immature because she has the brain development and emotions of a teenager.
She exhibits attention getting behavior. My husband does not like that behavior and neither do I.
Both of us feel that she has a psychological need to get attention by using negative behavior.
She wants my husband to be her friend.
He has a feeling that she thinks that he can help her, but, he wants her to turn to God for her problems instead of relying on him so much.
So how should my husband handle her friendship with him?