Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My husband and I are in marriage therapy but he still seems to have zero libido. He says I'm sexy and he's so in love with me but his actions don't speak that to me. I always have to initiate only to be rejected more than not. I'm at a loss. Not sure what to do.
in marriage counseling, have you laid your cards on table?
have you clearly conveyed that this is a divorce magnitude issue for you?
Eventually, my husband cheated on me and I divorced him. The divorce sucked. It was horrible on the kids, but it was a long time ago, they are well-adjusted teenagers now and doing well. I dated a bit, had a couple of long term relationships... the point of my story is that there is always some sort of a trade off with whoever is involved with you.
For example - my husband was neither intellectually or sexually stimulating, but he is a great father.
My fiancé was not sexually compatible with me nor was he a good person, but we were intellectually compatible.
Another man I dated - sexually amazing, but disnt have his life together.
All in all - I wish my husband did not push me to end the marriage because all the difficulties of a divorced parent are so much bigger than what was wrong in my marriage.
If you can tolerate the sexual dissatisfaction, I hope you can make your marriage last. Stability is so important when children are small.
I don't have any good advice on how to fix it , but I hope it works out for the best .
Because a person goes to therapy doesn't mean that they are "trying". All it means is that they are showing up at the appointments. I have never heard of someone going to therapy because everything is "right".
If one partner is more sexually driven than the other, that is a real problem. That will continue to be a real problem. If a person doesn't want to face the issue of that and wants to pretend it doesn't matter, that is their prerogative. I don't see how either party will work through that. It will be a hard life. How can one person be asked to give up their desires, just as the other person is asking to be physical? Leaving both people to be forced to be someone that they don't want to be.
This problem, and it is a problem, is probably one of the most underlining causes of unhappy or failed marriages. The resentment that someone carries not getting their needs met runs very deep, even if that person says they are working through their needs not being met. Not a sunshine type of life. It is a very hard road to be on. Thankfully we have the Lord to help us through. With much prayer, God will put you on the right path to be where you are supposed to be, walking right there at your side. And by all means, I not telling T-Girl to leave her spouse, but it will be a lifelong cross to bear. And that would "suck" to be married to. God Bless you T-girl, you're in my prayers.