I've been married for 8 years and have 2 beautiful boys, 2 and 5. My husband admits he is selfish and lacks empathy. It is really wearing on me lately and I don't know how to cope now...

On the outside we have a great relationship. We have a lot of laughs and share the same interests. We both love our boys obviously. But on the inside, I feel like there should be more to marriage. We rarely have sex just because we are both so tired and I sleep with my boys most nights (a habit I've been trying to unsuccessfully break). Husband is fine with this..we were never extremely active, both of us never had a really high sex drive...

Anyway, I feel like my husband has no empathy for me and what I am going through, no matter how many times I try to talk to him about it. He will turn it around and say I just ruined his morning and now he's in a bad mood. Here's an example:

I recently started working at home and in-doing so, naturally began to take on more of the housework. I had always done 80% of the housework anyway. Husband will wash dishes only when he feels like it which really frustrates me because I'm left wondering when he's going to feel like it! Lately he stopped doing any chores at all, except when it comes to keeping HIS things neat and tidy.

Not only do I work at home, I cook dinner every night, and clean the house almost every day, as well as laundry, cleaning the floors, etc. Husband comes home, has a nice meal waiting for him, and watches tv the rest of the night while eating snacks. In the morning, it really upsets me to come down to the kitchen and find a huge pile of dishes. We've agreed in the past, if I cook, he should wash the dishes, plain and simple. . Yet he will only wash them when he feels like it. I would say for the past week I've been doing the dishes at least 2x a day and was really at my wits end this morning. So I confronted him about it and he said he had a lot on his mind last night and didn't think about it. I explained to him AGAIN that I, too, have a lot on my mind, and that it would really help me out if he could take care of them at the end of the day since i have a million other chores to do, in addition to working, planning the dinner menu, entertaining the kids, etc. He dismissed my feelings and said "they're just dishes!" and "just throw them in the dishwasher!" to me, they are more than just dishes and signify more.

I got so frustrated that I ended up in tears. On his way out instead of showing remorse, he said HE was upset because I put him in a bad mood now and I shouldn't have cried, that there are "better ways to handle it". That confused me...I said, better way than to tell you how I feel? So he basically turned it around against me and said I ruined his day.

I just really feel crappy now. In the past I thought the nicer I am to him, if i make him a good breakfast and dinner (he LOVES food) and take care of him, he will really appreciate it and be more considerate of my feelings but it's not working. He will say "thank you" and "great dinner" and all that but they're just words. I can honestly say that I can't think of a selfless act he's done for me...When I really think about our relationship, he does not make me be a better person, which isn't that what your life partner should do? It seems that most of the time he is in his little world.

just wanted to rant more than anything, but any advice would be appreciated.