I think trying to get a feel on whether the person will cheat in the beginning can be a difficult thing to predict. But if the person wants sex right away it could be a sign. Also, if you observe him and his behavior at the beginning of the relationship, does he seem like he is getting a "high" off of the sex? Does it seem like he feels like he hit the jackpot so to speak. Can you get a feel like his behavior towards you is like getting "high" or like a dirty little secret? Does he have a sense of euphoria? Like lost in a secret little world or anything like that?

Just saying, try to observe is demeanor and behavior. Does it seem like it has raunchy or dirty aspects to it? If so, he might be getting a rush from it. Which means after you guys get over the honeymoon stage in your relationship, he is going to look for the rush elsewhere.

ask them if they've ever cheated. Then take the response with a grain of salt. Be careful to define "cheating".....

other than that I don't think there is a fool proof method to avoid cheaters....

Sometimes I think that that my issue is not about whether I can trust them - I need to trust me. Trust my ability to deal with them, if they ever do cheat. Cos I'm pretty smart generally, and the only thing I can control is me....

The only other option is a nunnery...........

Your reservations are as a result of negative thinking, so I would be asking myself why do I think the way I do.

New relationships usually go through an infatuation period, do you wish to avoid this enjoyable period?

Your ex was a cheater, and he had a valid reason do you think?

You are smart to look at yourself, and I commend you for so doing.

Oh man... This is a very tricky part.
Normally, I would say if you notice that a person has tendencies to lie and has tons of women texting him every day, this would alert me, but I was married to a man who had no history of lying and no history of rolling through women, but by 11 year mark he ended up doing something completely Out of character.
I am an atheist, but I definitely gravitate towards people who have strong sets of spiritual values and these types of people
Belong to some sort of religion.

One thing that I noticed is that there is a type of people who have very strong sense of right and wrong and when they do something morally wrong, they have a very strong reaponse of conscience, it is almost visceral. These are the types of people that are unlikely to be serial cheaters, because lying feels THAT uncomfortable.
So, how do you screen for that type of person ? When you have a heart to heart moment in your dating, ask this person carefully about what was the worst thing they have ever done in their relationship or otherwise and as they are talking, look at their body language and facial expression, their eyes. Content is not important, so don't even worry about it, unless it is murder lol, just pay close attention to how they are presenting it.
People who have no problem lying will pretend to
Feel badly while telling the story, but people who feel real remorse will have a true expression of suffering, sadness and will take long pauses because it is SO painful to talk about it.

There is no guarantee you will Never be cheated on. I ve been through so much crap in my life,
I m ready for anything, so I always have a plan B.
If my man lets me down again, I will not be falling apart and chewing snot for months. Life goes on.

As others said, there are no guarantees any man isn't going to cheat. All you can change is how you react to it if you find out it has happened. Sure, it hurts, but, given experience with it now, you'll rebound more quickly from it in the future.

I think you can pick a guy who is less likely to cheat... someone with moral values like some kind of religion, someone who doesn't have strong sexual appetite, a guy who seems to appreciate worth of women and believes in equality, guy who is confident and seems honest... all of these qualities I am trying to look for in a potential mate for future... I was also cheated on, and I believe that it is true, anyone can cheat no matter what, but that it's less likely if person has certain qualities about them. Good luck!

Good question.

I am not so much concerned about finding another cheater, as being concerned that I let myself get continuously cheated on and kept taking her ass back.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I am going through an emotional time. I don't know how long it will last. It is odd to me how much my ex's cheating effected me. I don't know why I am responding so strongly to it. There was a time when I felt I was not voluble to having the emotions I am having right now. I just want to move beyond this and get back to living.

Sure, your ex's cheating makes you doubt and second-guess yourself, analyzing if there was something YOU did that encouraged or influenced this. While the cheater is responsible for his or her own cheating, we DO exert powerful influences on each other, and unless the guy was a philandering idiot all his life who had no business starting a relationship with you under the pretense of monogamy, there was a REASON the guy wasn't happy, and strayed.

We TEACH others how to treat us, because we don't treat OURSELVES well enough, don't value OURSELVES highly enough. We feel there's a lacking somehow within us that we feel we need someone else to fill, which of course, they can't, so, rather than stare into our empty well, they look for another who is a little less of an empty well, is more full, more self-sufficient, more fun.

If you're looking for any advice here, mine is to work on yourself. Physically exercise, read self-help books, cultivate inner love. Then, if a man comes along, you'll be able to soberly ascertain whether his motivations toward you are healthy for you.

I agree that there isn't a way to tell for the most part.
Anything could happen in any relationship and someone could cheat.

My BF cheated on his wife Years ago, is he proud of it? no, Do I think he will cheat on me? I don't think so, but who really knows.
If he does he will lose one hell of an awesome woman, ME!

I agree that you have to realize that men/people will sometimes disappoint you and while it will hurt, you will and can move on.

Cheaters rarely admit to having cheated in a past relationship. In fact, some will go as far as to say they were cheated on, and skip/alter the details, to get you to feel safe and empathic. Remember, they're trying to reel you in, and will use their best bait and lure. They figure they cheated because of the circumstances they were put in, and truly believe that they won't do it again with a new person.

It's like asking someone if they lie, how often will you get a true answer? Or let me re-phrase that, if you ask someone who lies if they lie, what sort of answer would you expect? If you're the type to believe someone's talk without paying attention to their walk, this may be where the problem lies, no pun intended.

So trying to ascertain this by asking questions about infidelity, I don't believe will not produce satisfactory results.

I believe it's nearly impossible to ascertain whether someone who doesn't display obvious signs of being a player or liar, is ever going to lie or cheat on you.

I believe you have to take a chance, and use all of your noggin when going into a new relationship, not just the part that quells your need for physical stimulation and companionship. Don't set yourself up by putting someone in a position to lie or fudge/slightly distort the story, because it's human nature to do such when entering a new relationship with someone.

Wishing you well.

First off...Rarely does a person cheat because they are unhappy with the person they are with. Normally they cheat because they are unhappy with themselves and they need that rush they feel when they are with a new person. If they were emotionally mature they would leave their significant other if they were so unhappy.
And I think serial cheaters are very narcacistic and need that constant gratification. There are signs of narcacistic people. Do they accept responsibility for their actions (on everything, not just cheating). Do they flirt in front of you and when questioned they deflect their behavior? Do they seem needy and hot and cold? Are they good liars?
There are several books on this subject. I would read some of them if you want to be more aware of cheaters behavior. Not all men cheat but the ones that do are very charming. Be aware of that too.

uhoh Im feeling scared now too. Giselle just described my ex serial cheater Husband - who I am still with I might add!
He never told me about his cheating past. He said he didn't cheat because he didn't openly lie to their faces about it. He got on with it and when asked admitted it, so to him that wasn't cheating. Also he said that he cheated because his wives weren't good to him. They didn't give him enough sex.

thats From the mouth of an ex cheatermy husband. gulp.

So was told on this forum a few years ago now that he would cheat on me. And I can see that day is probably coming. He is getting more violent during sex, less thought flu and caring and less emotionally involved.

Trust your gut. If it feels bad then it probably is. You shouldn't be with someone who makes you feel that way. There is hope and love and good guys out there. Trust yourself first and you will know the choices to make. I wish I had listened to myself!!

Also, you would think a narsocist would prey on a weak person...they don't. They prey on strong women who are very empathetic. The nasocist is very charming and can be so convincing they have been wronged by X,Y, and Z because they are so nice. They dote on you and make you feel so special. This is the hot stage...then when they do something so unlike themselves (flirt with others, be cold or be unkind..etc..) they convince you it was all in your head because they love you so much. It's a behavior that will drive you batty unless you know the signs right away.
Once you read on it, you will be able to see the typical signs of a serial cheater/narsocist. I married one and stays for 27 years because he was so good blinding me with his confusing behavior. Now that we are divorced but still in contact I still find myself believing his lies for a tiny but until I shake the blinders off. He is good at what he does!! Hahahaha

Instead of focusing on cheating, I think we should focus on our own fidelity...to ourselves...that we'll come through it OK, a little deeper, a little wiser, hopefully with a still open heart devoid of bitterness, and hopefully clean of STD(s). The issue is our own flexibility and openness to new experiences.