Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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chapter42 09/05/2013

Hello All:

I would appreciate everyone's input about my situation. I've been divorced for over 6 yrs and took my time to heal before getting back into the dating scene. I have been seeing a woman for 3 yrs now who is also divorced and has a teenage son at home and another away at college. We have had two breaks because she felt she needed to date other peopled (based on her girlfriends advice) and I made it clear that I didn't want to be "one of". I know she truly loves me, and tells me so all the time, but sometimes I question why she seems to take our relationship to the next level.

I would appreciate your comments/experiences of anyone who has found themselves in similar situation. I waiver between staying the course and ending things to find someone who is more committed to building a lasting relationship.

deleted_user 09/14/2013

Honesty is non negotiable. Yes she's going through life changes and those situations even in a marriage can create problems. However some of the behaviors you've described suggest (for me) my non negotiable has been broken. Talk to her about what you're feeling and see how she responds. You may need to probe so be ready with questions.

new2free 09/16/2013

Having read your responses and further comments and details. It sounds as though she is not as committed and invested in this relationship as you are or would like her to be.
Sadly that probably means that you are the one likely to get hurt here, so it seems like a very good time to truly and honest evaluate whether you want to take that risk, or if it isn't time to move on with what you want in life.
I know it is easier said than done when your heart is involved, because it says one thing and your head says another. Good luck with working this out for the best for yourself.

deleted_user 09/16/2013

She doesn't seem committed at all.

chapter42 09/27/2013

Thanks to everyone who offered insight and personal experience to my situation. As of tonight I am no longer seeing her. For me it was a simple choice which came down to two people with different desires and values.

For me posting on here was in a sense validation of what I already knew but was hesitant to face.

Now is the time to put this behind me, appreciate the time we spent together, and move forward.

Aronia 09/27/2013

Sounds like you are a man of logic and action.
I hope you will find happiness again.
Maybe taking this move will make her think a little about what she is doing. Good men do not come around often, especially as we age.
I m sure someone will appreciate you and want the same things in life as you do.

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