Healthy Relationships Support Group
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My husband was raised by his elderly grandmother and his father who worked all the time. His family has told me stories about how his sister always got picked on because she had matted hair and dirty clothes when they were kids. I've never heard too much about what the boys in the family were like, but I'm guessing it was about the same situation.
The problem is that my husband hardly ever showers. As of right now, it's been 2 weeks. He smells absolutely TERRIBLE! I hate sitting next to him, and I sleep with the blanket bunched up over my face. I've tried telling him things like, "We went for bike ride and you're all sticky and covered in sweat. If you want to get in the shower first, I don't mind." He just says, "I'll take one later..." but he never does. The longest he's gone without a shower (that I know of) is just over 3 weeks. He doesn't even change his underwear between showers either. It's really disgusting, and I don't know what to do. I've tried being blunt with him about it in the past, and his response is always the same- "I don't talk sh*t on you when I don't like the way you look or smell!" So, I tried another approach. We have a 7 year old son, and I make sure he takes a bath or shower daily, as any parent would. While getting him undressed and washing his hair (he is mentally handicapped), I remind him that we have to wash our hair and our bodies every day because personal hygiene is very important. I also tell him how it keeps us healthy. I do all of that with the door to the bathroom open and my husband is within earshot.
So what more can I do? He tried to have sex with me last night, and I didn't know how to tell him I didn't want to. It wasn't easy to keep myself from saying. "I don't want to have sex because you haven't showered in weeks!" With the weather getting hotter, him not showering, and only using when he can smell his own underarm odor, I don't know how much more I can take!
I don't want to hurt his feelings, but OMG this is really grossing me out!
The problem is that my husband hardly ever showers. As of right now, it's been 2 weeks. He smells absolutely TERRIBLE! I hate sitting next to him, and I sleep with the blanket bunched up over my face. I've tried telling him things like, "We went for bike ride and you're all sticky and covered in sweat. If you want to get in the shower first, I don't mind." He just says, "I'll take one later..." but he never does. The longest he's gone without a shower (that I know of) is just over 3 weeks. He doesn't even change his underwear between showers either. It's really disgusting, and I don't know what to do. I've tried being blunt with him about it in the past, and his response is always the same- "I don't talk sh*t on you when I don't like the way you look or smell!" So, I tried another approach. We have a 7 year old son, and I make sure he takes a bath or shower daily, as any parent would. While getting him undressed and washing his hair (he is mentally handicapped), I remind him that we have to wash our hair and our bodies every day because personal hygiene is very important. I also tell him how it keeps us healthy. I do all of that with the door to the bathroom open and my husband is within earshot.
So what more can I do? He tried to have sex with me last night, and I didn't know how to tell him I didn't want to. It wasn't easy to keep myself from saying. "I don't want to have sex because you haven't showered in weeks!" With the weather getting hotter, him not showering, and only using when he can smell his own underarm odor, I don't know how much more I can take!
I don't want to hurt his feelings, but OMG this is really grossing me out!
i thought he was a little mental. he was married to a women who apparently did not care about his hygeine.
he died a few years back of a cronic staf infection, go figure....
good luck. i dont have anthing further to suggest, everyone has pitched in on this one,,, my advice is similar.
Well, last night he FINALLY showered! (YAY!!!) But earlier this week, he had mentioned that he had some tiny red sores on his "man-junk" and I thought nothing of it because he's always got some in-grown hair or some other weird thing going on that I really don't want to know about. We had sex this past weekend when he woke me up in the middle of the night and I wasn't thinking clearly. I just got off the phone with OB/GYN. I called her because I thought I had a yeast infection. Sure enough, I do. Then I mentioned to her how my husband hasn't been showering for weeks at a time and he now has these little red sores (when hubby told me about them, I didn't know they were near the top of his "stuff", so I figured ingrown hair in the nether-regions). She thinks he probably passed a yeast infection my way since he has symptoms of a male yeast infection!! EWWW!!!
So, I thought I was OK since I didn't have sex with him the other night, but obviously it was already too late.
I'm trying to talk him into going to see his doctor about his "man problem" and he refuses! This just keeps getting better and better -.-
Because of the lack of personal hygene, among other things, I'm now considering a divorce. It's one thing to offend my nasal passages with his lack of self-care, but now I have to go get a prescription to treat this disgusting infection because of it!
In case you couldn't tell, I'M MISERABLE!
You are a much better person than me. I know I could not have sex with anyone who didn't shower, smelled and then on top of that has little red sores on his penis. Eeeeek!