My advice to you is to get a plan, It may take you a little time to work it through but don't do anything off the cuff unless you absolutely have to and even then have a plan for that. Spend time calling apartment complexes and getting prices for rent. I'm sure you'll have to work on babysitting arrangements soon anyway,

Don't consider yourself helpless or defeated before you get out of the gate. Know that you have the ability to survive. Get a plan and be quiet about it until you have everything in order.

I was married for a year before I made my plan to leave. I was willing to try to work it out but I was sure I would eventually leave the marriage. I wasn't financially in a position to do it and I was over a thousand miles away from anyone I knew. When there was no doubt in my mind that I would leave doors just opened for me. I stepped out on faith and have never looked back. Good luck to you.

I have ten months before I have to go back to work. The government pays maternity/parental benifits for that long. As such, no daycares or subsidized day homes will take a child under the age of one year. I can't afford for a babysitter for her yet.
and i make 600 dollars a month from the govt, and apartment here is more than taht not including utilities or food or anything.
my biggest worry is that im going to have to wait until my year is up...thats so long away.

can you make HIM leave? does your sister help you financially since she is living w you? also look into programs thru your country taht may help with food and housing. Living in an unhealthy environment is not good for any of you...i did it for 14 years and regret everyday of it.

1. Is he a bad father? does he take an active interest in caring for the child.
2. How old is your sister? Is she an adult or under 18 and unable to live on her own? if she is an adult does she contribute to the house hold expenses or just consume them?

If he is a good father then you should leave the child in his care and focus on getting your life together with or with out your sister. You have to focus on what's best for your child and most often that means getting your act together so you can be the best mother you can. Seek aid from your family if you can.

Joey isn't a bad father, but he won't do anything that he doesn't want to. She is two months and he has bathed her once. He does not feed her most of the time, rarely is the one to dress her, and never packs her things to go on an outing. He does take her when she's fussy, and he does hold her and play with her, and is willing to change diapers.
my sister does pay some rent, but not alot. She is no a very fixed income. A little more lax than mine will be if I go, but tight all the same.
I have a dilemma though. I was so mad today, and then Joey cornered me and said all the things he knew I wanted to hear, and while I know that he won't hold true to any of them I can't help but to find myself sated.
Now I have no urge to go, and I feel weak and pathetic. I know it will only be a matter of time until I'm back at the point I was today.

Ok but here is the thing if you left for any reason be it for good or for bad he would care for her, do you have any doubts that he would or could. If not then you need to ask your self what would you tell your daughter to do if she were asking the very thing your asking. Im not saying step out of her life what Im saying is there are tons of programs for mom's to go back to school for that better paying job, think of it at the very least as a 2 year investment in to your daughters life to be a better mom. Also in todays economy what happens if joey losses his job or worse yet something happens to joey? what will you do? the point is you have to make your self independent and lead by example for your daughter. You know your not happy with joey and it will all go back to the way it is so If you stay with him so be it, if not so be it but you HAVE to make your self independent.

I understand completely. I've been in almost the same situation for 5 years with the exception of the baby. John and I don't have any children together but I have an 11 year old daughter from my previous marriage. There's no way I can afford to live on my own but I know I MUST leave. It's taken me three years but this January I will be testing out for my Paramedic certification then I will make enough money to move out.

JacJac has given you some good advice, make a plan and carry it out. Its the very best you can do right now. You have to take care of yourself and your child but you have to be realistic. It's obvious now is not the right time but you can get through this and move forward. You'll have to be patient, it's really your only choice. I've been working on this for 3 years and finally there is light at the end of the tunnel....it can be done.

Heres the thing, joey has had a kidney transplant, and he has been laid off for medical reasons before. I was very capable of making enough to compensate for his lost wages. I have my grade 12 diploma, and all of my highschool courses are the highest levels except for physics.
I know that I can provide for my daughter and I. But I also know I can't do it right now.
Joey would take Marlow in a heartbeat. However, while he was working he would let his mother watch Marlow. His mother is a mean, manipulating, control freak who would gladly take over Marlow's care just so she could complain about what horrible parents we were later. She is not someone I want my daughter to have constant unsupervised time with.
I am the primary parent, and while Joey would try, I doubt he could pull it off well. The man can't do his own laundry or clean up after himself as his 'mommy' did it for him for the first 22 years of his life.
If I ever do take Marlow and leave, I would never ever cut her father out of her life. He may not be good for me, but he is great with and for her.
But like I said before, I'm a gullible dope and I am going to once again try to brave things through. My sister is an addict, and I always rag on her about it, but in a way I'm addicted to Joey and I just can't seem to quit.

take your time. think about it and dont make any decisions without thinking them through! It may take the year, hopefully not, but plan and save. thats the best advice i can offer you. Good luck!

Think clearly what your expectations are in this relationship, and evaluate what expectations are not being met. Are they reasonable expectations to have? If so, talk to him about it. I haven't heard you discuss how you have negotiated with him on the situation. Think about how long you are willing to have unmet expectations? Are you willing to accept them? Can you adjust to them? Can you wait a year for him to adjust to new behavior?
In the meantime devise your exit plan. If at the end of a set time (say 1 year) you feel like things can not continue you should be in a financial/job situation where you can exit if you need to.

Though I never met my grandfather, he was a big proponent of married women having a Plan B. So regardless of what life threw your way, a woman could survive with or without a mate. So, it's possible for you to get through this!

Good luck!