Without knowing the history of the relationship between your daughter and husband it is a bit difficult to give advice. You mentioned that you have tried counseling and that did not seem to help. I was wondering what the counselor did advise you and your family to try doing to work things out and what made it not work. You don't have to answer any of the questions but I was curious.

Anyway I am not sure how much time you spend with your husband or your daughter or if either one is a bit too demanding on how you spend time as well as how much you spend with each of them. I also am not sure if you have tried talking to both of them and perhaps have tried to make some compromises that would be fair to everyone including yourself.

In order for anyone to have a good relationship there has to be compromise, communication and trust. These are the things I feel need to be discussed and actions taken. You certainly can't force anyone to do anything however you should not have to be put in a position by threats from your husband leaving you or not having your daughter in your life. To me there should always be enough time and love for everyone close to you. So you might want to try setting up some boundaries and times that work for all of you to spend quality time with each other.

I would also advise that you really check out how much time you do spend with both of them and are either one of them being reasonable about their time time spent with you. As it just might be possible part of the problem is you are ignoring each of them in different ways by your actions. Again I do not know the whole situation here so all I can do is tell you to look at how you spend your time and is it quality time with both your daughter and husband.

I hope this helps a bit and that you are all able to work something out so that each of you can be happy. Wishing you all the best:)