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How do I calm down when beginning to date?

brokenhearted704
brokenhearted704

I went through a bad breakup 11 months ago. I’ve been dating since then and each date was a fail until last week. I seriously met THE most amazing guy, and he was super into me. I’m wondering how do I calm down my excitement when just beginning to date because I don’t want to scare him away...but I haven’t felt like this about a man ever, and we have so much in common it’s insane. He and I have been chatting since our first date, but he’s kinda calmed down on giving me compliments. He says that this time of year is just really busy for him (online retail and it’s the holiday season). So what do I need to do because I really don’t want to run him off. He is everything I prayed for.



Thanks in advance!

GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Hey that's great news! The new guy sounds great! Others on here will give you good advice, but I just wanted to add that it is good that you realize you might be a little on the rebound.... just last month you were ready to contact your ex again.... but good for you for not contacting him because as you see, there ARE great guys out there! Good for you :)
arfie
arfie
I wonder if you should handle it with full disclosure. If a taste of your personal realities is all it takes to run him off, I would want to know about that weakness before I let myself invest much emotional energy on him. In Arf World, faster is better for identifying and running off the wimps. I'm testy enough to still be testing my Hubs after 40 years. I didn't marry the perfect human, but I still expect room to grow.

Just wondering from my anti-romantic weirds. . . It remains yours to sort.

Gentle support while you sort.
rmb
rmb
I would just try to manage your expectations and any over thinking. Stay present so you aren’t 10 steps ahead of where things are in reality which is that you are in the dating phase. I would distract yourself by keeping busy, hanging out with your friends, etc. That way you aren’t just waiting for his calls, texts. You just getting to know each other. So keep that tucked away in the back of your mind.
MemphisWH
MemphisWH
Keep busy yourself. If you have to take the edge off, self healing can help the moment pass.
reaThua9
reaThua9
Hi there! I agree about managing expectations -- it's always exciting to experience that first flush of interest, but you did say it was just last week that you met him. So in reality there could be all kinds of UN-amazing things about this guy that you don't know. Not trying to discourage you, just trying to help your mindset. If you focus on being cautious because it's so early, you'll be way less likely to "scare him off" or be too excited. Hope this all works out great for you
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