Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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help plz !!

bfly87
bfly87
I have been with my partner for 3 years but still think hes going to cheat on me and abandon me which scares me to death. I know if i carry on im going to lose him anyway but i just cant stop. He went out last night on a work thing and when he got back i asked him a million questions, who he seen who he talked too and even if he looked at another woman, these insecurites are driving me mad i feel insane and he obviously doesnt understand what i am feeling, i dont want to be like this anymore costant questioning cause im losing him, he told me last night it were over and that he were falling out of love with me so once again i promised id get help and try and deal with these issues but i ave said this before and never did. Am i insane? He is a great guy and treats my 2 children like his own but i fink i take him for granted and because i think its too good to be true and theres got to be a catch.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate, my ex fiance cheated on me and told me i was worthless and to old (I was 20 at the time) he also pretended the relationship was still there until I asked about it because he felt it would "make it easier" for me. This event, though it happened 5 years ago, still haunts me. Even tonight my boyfriend of four years is out with some friends and I am home doing my best not to assume the worst. My issues have affected out relationship quite a bit and I worry he will find someone "better" and move on leaving me behind. I struggled greatly with this tonight. I basically keep reminding myself that my feelings have no foundation when it comes to our relationship. It is me being insecure and he loves me. I keep telling myself "Everything is fine, he loves me and I trust him" I even chant it to myself if I have to. It helps me usually to quiet down those negative and false thoughts that are based on nothing but my own fears. I have been doing this for the past few days and it seems to help. Maybe it could help you a little as well.
bfly87
bfly87
thankyou for comment and i will defo try this for next time. I am relived that its not just me who feels this way i felt like i were going mad. My ex partner cheated on me when i were pregnant and he used to beat me and mentally put me down too, which obvious i cannot get over, thanks for your support x
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you have promised to get help, why haven't you? A promise is nothing but meaningless words unless they are followed up by action, you've deceived him by making promises you don't keep.

Chances are your insecurities will destroy the relationship and if he leaves, can you really blame him? Having a partner that is insecure is emotionally draining and I don't know any emotionally healthy people that would stay in a relationship and continue tolerating not being trusted, being put through the 3rd degree every time they go out, it's emotional abuse.

Put yourself in his shoes, if he did to you what you're doing to him, how long would you stick around not being trusted, being asked a million questions every time you went out, how long would you put up with irrational behavior and emotional abuse from a partner?

Get yourself the help you need for him, for the relationship but mostly for you.
bfly87
bfly87
Im scard thats why am scard of ever trusting someone again i dont even trust family, but you are right i need to do this for him and me if not i will lose him and i know this thanks for your comment x
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