Discuss it with him. Tell him about your allergy.

And if he makes the effort to tidy, APPRECIATE IT! If it's not his thing, any little thing he does means something.

I ve seen single guys really step it up with cleaning when they would start living with a woman. Nobody gives a crap about a bachelor pad, but a guy who is showing off his girl would definitely also want to show what a great place they have together ( unless both people love the pigsty- type decor )

or you could clean his place when youre there, and he can fix things, install things and change your oil when he is at your place

He even told me he will do everything else but clean lol. Guess for me cause I love a clean home, I couldn't live that way. I am on the traditional side and he is to, but I guess I didn't expect his place to be that bad.

"Nobodys perfect" but if he is a sweetie to you and you really like him just let it go and ask him that maybe he can get a house cleaner every two weeks so your more comfortable at his house. : ) Good luck

Men rarely change. If you are ok cleaning up after him and he's good fixing things, it could be a good trade off. A word of caution: if you don't want to be a maid, take things slow. My dad is a total dlob and has never made an effort to change. See if he makes an effort. If he tries to clean up that's good. If he doesn't, he may have low standards on cleanliness. Basically it comes down to if you can live with it. I wish hog the very best.

Ughhh darn auto correct meant my dad is a slob and I wish you the very best of luck.

Lanaleo- you said "Guess for me cause I love a clean home, I couldn't live that way."
You dont live with him.
Tidiness is something that can easily be fixed or compromised on. If the time ever comes that there is a possibility of sharing a living space, I'm sure at that point, youd both be able to come to a fair agreement.
In the mean time, you can make it clear that you thoroughly enjoy his company, but would rather spend time at your place or out on dates. Or offer to help him clean up one weekend.

Are we dating ? LOL just kidding.

My house is a absolute pig sty and i am trying to clean it up on my own and get things organized, but its really hard for me to do. I have a heart of gold and would do anything for my lady and tha tincludes cleaning up a messy house, but I lack the motivation and help to organize things. I dont have those skills. I can fix almost anything. I do all my own remodeling and car work. I can do dishes and laundry, but when it comes to cleaning I just cant do it.

My GF has offered to help me clean my house. I love her so much as NO ONE has ever offered to help me with such things. I can keep it clean once it gets there , but I get so overwelmed with the mess that I give up.

Maybe your man is like that too ? I also have pretty bad depression at times from the loss of my family. In two years time I lost my brother, grandfather, father, and mother! Since then I havent functioned very well as far as giving a crap about a clean house.

I say please look at his heart and see the love he can give you! If he takes good care of you and treats you right then work with him and help him to learn how to have a clean house. :)

A man with a good heart is worth his weight in gold anyday in this world. Seems like a lot of men treat women poorly and a lot of women tolerate it.

There is a difference between messy and straight up DIRTY lolol

Cleaning can be fixed....it's not a dealbreaker.

Can you accept, that if you were to some time down the long road, live together, you'd probably end up doing most of the cleaning (without nagging him to chip in, resenting him if he did not)?

This would be lower on my list of priorities when seeking a mate, since I'm already used to picking up after three youngish children. One more even if an adult not a huge deal. Higher on my list, would be monogammy (doesn't cheat), no drug/ alcohol abuse, they are a nice person (have an overall positive attitude), and likes children (since I have three children). But that is just me.

However if you are very neat/ clean person, I'd recommend passing him by. I was married to someone who was a very neat/ clean person, and it made us both miserable. I was the primary housekeeper, and whatever I did was not good enough (I felt like I was walking on eggshells, he resented met). I don't believe I am a slob, but he had very high standards, for three kids. Tidiness more important the cleanliness (if I can't see the floor, the toilet being cleaned within the past week less important). He too had allergies (mold)-but his allergies were to the point of expecting me to bleach everything (including the garage floor). I did not feel I could do that, and told him to do it himself if important.

We all have baggage, some more so than others, but you have to pick your battles. If this is one of them (due to your allergies, quality of life, physical symptoms), and you cannot accept that he will not change (will forever be messy/ dirty), then move on.

Thank you everyone! So far all his charming qualities out weigh this. I'm going to see where it goes.

Please keep us all up to date. would love to know if he's a keeper : )

My knee-jerk reply to this would have been that people usually put their best foot forward at the start of a relationship....soooooo..well, you can see where that was going.
Then I remembered that..
While, by no means a slob...my husband, when we met...didn't keep house as I would. ( turned out he was raised with housekeeper..so..there ya go).
Anywaaaay..
Fast forward many ( 15-20 years.
Me...no longer physically able to " keep" house..
My husband doing all that he can..
And even offering to hire help at a time when we can't really afford it due to my medical costs.

So..now I'm with " smiles"... would love to know if he turns out to be a keeper.
:-)
jc