Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My boyfriend and i are seperated because he cant talk about his feelings. He has insecurity issues. He gets upset wirh me about something and instead of talking to me he takes off and later texts me what hes upset about. The last time i told him to leave then if he cant talk to me. My daughtee got involved this time and told him off So he packed all his stuff and left. . Since my daughter lives with me it would be hard for him to come back. I dont understand why he cant talk to me if hes upset with me and just runs. Im heartbroken over this cause besides this we had a good thing. I know he loves me but i dont know how to deal with him running all the time. Every couple of month he gets like this.
A lot of people really do not know how to cope with certain things. They never learnt how. Besides, coping skills are not normally taught. Even our own parents lacked coping skills, and what skills they did have were often not adequately dealt with.
When I was younger, I had trouble dealing with certain emotions. I would try to suppress them. As a result they were all on the verge of bursting out of me. When I felt threatened, instead of exploding into a huge scream of despare, I would run away. I felt safer alone, and needed time to settled and repack my suppressions. This cycle continued until I got some help with unpacking my baggage.
One of the first things I had to learn was to identify my emotions. I usually had more than one emotion wanting to take centre-stage. When asked how I was feeling, I would say 'okay' only because I could not identify what I was feeling. You see, I could not identify the collusion of say anger and dissappointment. there is no word/label for both. I had to learn to say "I feel "as if" I am angry, and "as if" I am dissapointed. Talking like this helped me, my parnter, and friends, understand what was happening for me.
Then, after discovering what these emotions were, I started to learn how to 'cope' with each one.