Healthy Relationships Support Group
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so my birthday was Friday. i wake up at 530 to go to work and the first words out of his mouth were "turn the fckn light off!!". i get to work he calls me about 1045 sounding like he just woke up and says"happy birthday" in his still sleep agitated voice. i get home he asked me what i want him to cook and says well go clean the kitchen wash the pot and cut up the seasoning while i go to the store. this was around 5 oclock. he gets home from "the store" at 830!!! cooks, eats and goes and lays down. Happy Fckn Bday to me. the next day my mom wanted to take me shopping..this was important to me for 2 reasons, one i never get any "me" time from him or the 3 kids, ever!!! and second i always put everyone's needs in front of my own. well that morning i got up cleaned up the house and cooked breakfast. around 1030 i woke him up and told him i made breakfast and that my mom would be there shortly to go shopping. he starts with "why u have to go today? that's when the attitude began. the breakfast was not good enough for him in fact i believe his words were if you don't know how to make it then don't even attempt it. then he says " you must be taking the baby with you because I'm not watching them all. the baby is 7 months old and it as 100+ degrees that day. so i was like i wasn't planning on bringing any of them. so i called his mom to watch them she said yes. he says no my mom is not watching them, so my mom gets there and i tell her whats going on and she was just like ok we will take them no big deal. then he says my son can't go to leave him there. my son is 2. then he says my other daughter isnt going either, probably because he wanted her to watch my son so he wouldn't have to do anything. needless to say i took both girls with us while his mom is chasing us down the driveway telling me to leave them both there that is to hot for the baby and my oldest hair wasnt fixed. needless to say i didn't feel like shopping after that and my day with my mom that i had been looking forward to was ruined. i would like opinions on if other people think i am over reacting or if he was just an out right asshole, because of course to him i am being a drama queen and i started shit by not wanting to take the baby
You are trying to split up because of it, as sad as it is you can not expect good behavior from him because he will never change.
You cant rely on him and you cant expect him to act properly.
Knowing this, it is probably best to make other arrangements for babysitting.. He can not act like a normal person.
Has he always been like this?
You would be better off without a husband!
Yeah, reading your post, it does sound like you're creating a lot of drama.
"Why u have to go today?" Sounds to me like he was trying to initiate some making love! And that's a GOOD thing, right? Maybe he wants a bit more physical affection and your idea of love is making breakfast and keeping the house clean. Sounds like your "love languages" are askew.
Its like those guys who say "I gotta babysit my kid today" Uhm, not quite....its your kid, so therefore its NOT babysitting! OMG SMH
Let alone himself?
How much in advance did you inform him of your shopping jaunt?
Not saying you shouldn't have gone, but knowing your H, I think he reacted as you could have predicted.
You married a jerk, sorry.
Is he the primary or only breadwinner? If so, I can understand his objection to your shopping jaunt. Are you the only one who takes care of the kids? If so, I can understand your objections to his being lazy.
Where's the compromise? You both have to bend a little. I'm sure you've heard "marriage is not 50/50; it's 100/100".
now to put it simple he is an outright asshole. if i was in your situation i would have made plans ahead of time as far as the kids care. knowing how he is i would have already arrange for his mom to watch the kids beforehand and went about my day. on my bday every year though i have no plans most time and have no where to go and no one to spend it with, i always take vacation from work, to relax and enjoy my day. my birthday out of all the holidays is the only day i truly celebrate, its the day i came into the world and when my life journey began and continues to this day and i am thankful to live to see another birthday every year.
Your Husband is emotionally abusive. That is more than just being a jerk and more than just ride. Who talks that way to their wife? How disrespectful of him to talk that way to you. That is unacceptable behavior and it is obviously is a pattern. Does he work? He sure sleeps a lot. He seems to want the benefits without helping you at all. I am sure this is not the first time he has not wanted to watch the kids. They are his kids too and he should be helping you.
I am sorry you are in this situation. Please take care of you and be safe.