Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
There was this guy in the circle of friends who i alwasy thought was so cute, but according to guy code with my cousins and brothers none of these guys can date me or my cousin. Well i went out with one of them a few times. I already knew him for years and knew what a great person he was. I also over the years seen him with girls. I thought i never had a chance, but one day he came out and told me he had a crush on me for years but because of the code he ddin't do anything. But he had to tell me, i told him i felt the same way. I had the best date of my life. No guy has ever been so gentlemen like on a frist date. We hung out a few times and word got out that we were hanging out and the toughest of my cousins pretty much told him to stay away from me. Well he did and i was upset. I saw him 2 months after that and i was upset about the whole thing and he wanted to talk to me and i was not nice to him. Shortly after that i heard he picked up and moved out of state and no one has heard from him since. This was almost ten years ago. I'm sorry but i cant help to have thought about him over the years because he put a stamp on my heart with how sweet he is especially when i've had my fair share of assholes over the years. This year has been a little harder because his name has been brought up a lot. I have no idea how to find him and non of the guys keep in contact with him as he jsut picked up and left. HIs name is a common one, so i tried all these search engines and there are seriously so many of his name and some of the locations dont add up. For those of you who felt like the one got away, how do you handle this? its hard on me now only because my last few relationships have been rough and it keeps coming into my mind "why cant i find a guy like....." then i remember because my cousins said something to him. I'm tired of meeting jerks, and my cousin who drove him away from me told me tonight "why do you keep meeting these losers" i said ":why do you have a nice one for me"
as for dating jerks...hmmm. idk. thats just bad luck. I dated three jerks and two guys who just wernt right for me all in a row. i guess sometimes you just get bad luck and it takes a while to find the right person.
have you considered dating sites? personaly i have not had any success on them but many people do because the site supposedly matches you with someone who has a similar personality will complement you best.
I've tried dating site and I keep getting weirdo's. I'm just tired of this. That guy was perfect, you dont get those qualities in a guy and i was physically attrated to him to, its hard to find both.
Just seems to me that if the feelings were that strong to begin with he would have taken the time and had the patience to work at being with you and settle the past issues with your cousins. If your cousins were unreasonable or were behaving in a way that was immature I think the two of you would have been strong enough to go ahead with your plans with your future together regardless of what your cousin said.
Anyway these days it sure isn't easy to date and find someone who is ready to make a serious commitment but at the very least the time you did have with this fella gives you a pretty good idea of what to look for in the future. And when you do find the right one there isn't anyone who can come between you. If they can then it is you who is giving in. And if that happens then I believe it is you who has the doubts not so much the people telling you who is right or wrong for you.
Anyway don't give up because your Mr. Right is out there somewhere. And if people do not like who you choose take the time to figure out why and if they have valid reasons. If they do not don't let anything stop you from having a happy future with that someone special:)
Your cousins may just be jealous, of your potential happiness, or they've seen him in "questionable" behavior with other women, but until YOU personally have experienced these things, go ahead and date him! Sounds like you two had the start of something great!