Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I feel I have found someone wonderful whom I love and who loved me very much. She lives two and a hald hours away from me. She visits me every two weeks. She does all the traveling since I have a medical condition that does not allow me to drive that long at least for the moment. She has accepted that and is willing to to all the travelling. I plan to visit her in a month when I get better. Everything was going well until yesterday. She was supposed to visit me today. Yesterday morning she asked me if I was ok with her visiting today or if I wanted to postpone her visit for a week. I told her I was very busy this week and that I had to make a big and stressful decision for a meeting this week. I asked her to give me a few minutes to think about which would be the best time for her visit. When I called her back she said she had decided not to visit me today and that she was not sure she could visit me next week either. I asked her to please come visit me today but she said no. I asked her all day long yesterday. I begged, I told her I had made a mistake and to please forgive me. But she said I had made her feel bad and that she would feel bad if she came to visit me today. She would feel like a burden. I told her she would not be a burden and to please come. But she said no. Last night we had a long talk and I asked her if she still loved me. She said she loved me and missed me and she was very sad she could not see me today. But she could not see me because she would feel bad if she did. I talked to her today while she was at work and she was very cold. I asked her why she was being so cold and she said she was at work and could not speak freely. That she had told me last night that she loved me. I talk to her everyday when she is at work and she is not as cold as she is today. Today she is very distant and cold. I feel the very special bond that we had has been broken. Is this a temporary thing or have I done permanent damage to our relationship? I am suffering quite a bit. But I feel I did not do such a terrible thing. She says she has suffered all her life. Could it be that she is not emotionally healthy and is dragging me into her suffering way of being? Have I broken the special bond we had?
From the outside looking in the responses she gave in regards to her thinking that she could take time off from the hotel during her sister's surgery and then realizing she had more responsibilities and can't isn't odd to me. Sometimes people jump to conclusions prematurely and then when they look into it they realize they can't.
Just give her time and give yourself time to go through this treacherous time with out the minimal need to get stressed out. This is in my opinion just a bump in the road that you'll have to learn to side step with faith that things will all work out.
Gaining strength at the face of difficult times after all is an opportunity to grow your strength of character. You can look at this station as "woe is me" or look at it as an opportunity to show yourself and your g/f that you're both strong enough and capable of getting through this as a team.
Communication and understanding is key.
Good luck to you =)