Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Countrygal84 08/11/2014

We were together for 6 years and we broke up in February. We broke up for a couple of different reason, most of those reasons are because of him. He became an alcoholic, lied to me about it, completely broke my trust. I became distant with him, didn't care if he was around or not and stop have sex. The big thing is the Trust. Since we have been broken up we have stayed in contact. I haven't dated anyone, because I don't feel like I'm over him and that my feels are too strong for him yet and I do still love him. He through has dated this girl on and off about 3 times now. This time they are kind of officially gf and bf, but have only been for a week or so. He tells me all the time that he still would like to be with me and that if I would want him back he would drop her. I just don't know how I really feel about him dropping her like that. I don't want to feel like to did something bad and I feel like I would feel like that. But I so do want to give him and I this last chance to see if we can make it. There are things what are going to be battles but I'm willing to go through them. I just don't know what to do though. Plus she has now meet his family and friends. Please help me!

SheByTheSea 08/11/2014

Go read the thread I started on alcoholism....it should still be on the front page. Just read all the replies that say to stay away. Really, its awesome advice. You don't want to be dealing with an alcoholic.

Aronia 08/12/2014

When my fiance and i both got back together we were both dating other people, but in my case it was established that it was a self limiting situation as we were both on the rebound. In his case i was told it was " casual dating". It was concerning to me, just like to you whether or not the man was telling the truth, because i really had no idea how the girl felt about it.
I think that anyone that is in a serious relationship and reaches out to someone else and say " i d rather be with you, etc, etc " is not a reliable person..

deleted_user 08/12/2014

Relationships are suppose to be happy, fun, carefree. About being in love or falling in love. NOT to go do "battle"! Do you really want a relationship like that?

As for him dropping the other girl....hmm well ... be prepared to have that happen to you. He is too f**king chicken shit to be on his own. Going from her bed directly to yours.... you are worth more than that!!! Just remember all the hell he put thru to begin with to cause the break up in the first place. There is a reason why you dumped him!

Misred 08/12/2014

You still have strong feelings for him because you are still in contact. If you go no contact for awhile, you may see more clearly what to do.

I was married to an alcoholic and it is hell on earth and my sister still is married to one and her life is a living hell, the kids are a mess too because of it. You cannot fix him, he has to do it himself.

koolman 08/12/2014

I wouldn't, because anything he says to you may be a lie filtered through booze. He might be so drunk that he won't even remember what he said from one day to the next. The truth drunk is the truth filtered through booze i.e. it could be a lie that, filtered through booze, he'll justify by saying "I can't believe I said that. I must've been drunk.".

Misred 08/13/2014

Someone posted this on the Breakups & Divorce Board and I think it's very helpful

http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/Start

SevenVA 08/14/2014

Thanks so much for this link:

http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com

It has taught me to focus on myself and start MY healing.
Very good advice!
Check it out

deleted_user 08/14/2014

I agree with most of the advice given. If you can try to move on than maybe you will feel better about it all. If you truly want to get over him you can. Losing contact with him will help and changing those old habits of calling\texting. You just need time to clear your mind and see things more clearly. Maybe make a pros and cons list of the relationship. See how that goes.

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