Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have a husband that's a good guy overall. He works like a dog in his family's business (a minimum of 70 hours and more lately with the summer being our busy season). He hasn't had any time to take off. Our daughter had medical appointments for a week in Denver (5 hours from us, so we stayed in a hotel for the week) for her autism (nothing life threatening,we were getting new help from her specialists). He didn't go at all. I hired a high school girl to come with me so she could watch our 2 year old while my daughter was in her appointments. I haven't seen my grandfather in over 2 years and he's very ill. We are going in about a month to visit him. I wanted to take a week there (2 days each way for travel and 3 days with grandpa). Hubby wasn't having it, we are taking one day each way for travel and only 2 days with grandpa because he needs to be at work. Earlier this summer, I went to see my grandmother on the side opposite my grandpa that was about 12 hours away by myself with the kids because he couldn't get away from work. However, he is leaving for 8 days on a mission's trip for our church youth group. I'm happy he's serving but more than a little resentful that he has no time for our daughter's medical trip or to see my grandma. He has very little time for my grandpa and wouldn't have gone at all had I not insisted he go so I can have help while trying to say good bye to my grandpa (it will be the last time I see grandpa, he's in poor health).
I also commend you for being in counseling, but I think you really need to be honest with your H. If you are at the point that you would consider leaving the marriage, then he needs to know that. He is not attending counseling because of work because at this point, what's the consequence? He has no idea that you are this frustrated. So for him, it's just business as usual. I wonder if he would be so inclined to skip counseling for work if he knew there was a good chance that you and the kids would be gone?
I am also not an advocate of divorce if a marriage can be saved but a marriage needs honesty from both parties. You need to be honest with him about how you feel and where you are in this marriage. Don't use it as a ultimatum, but just giving him an FYI so he can perhaps realize how serious you are.
Just my two cents.