Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My husband and I are newly married, and we are still new to talking about money. We've been living together for more than a year now. We have never had money issues, or any arguments. It's just that when we talk about finances or money, we tend to get a little heated up. We don't argue about how to spend or anything. We are always in the same opinion where money has to go, but it just doesn't come out in the right tone.
My question to married or committed couple is - how do you handle financial discussions? And what is the best way to talk about money.
P.S: We both love each other, and we don't have any problems, and we did not rush into marriage. We are very happy with everything in our married life.
My question to married or committed couple is - how do you handle financial discussions? And what is the best way to talk about money.
P.S: We both love each other, and we don't have any problems, and we did not rush into marriage. We are very happy with everything in our married life.
Second we used active listening to be sure we understood each other.
If you need his "ok" for a purchase, ask after sex.
If you need an "ok" for an expensive purchase, ask after oral sex.
;)
Enjoy your marriage! Keep having fun together!
But (sigh), since you're married now, yes finances suck and are an unpleasant, unromantic part of life, but trick is to lay some groundwork, figure out what kind of financial personalities you both are, spenders or savers, and decide who gets to pay what bills.
As kids come along, finances WILL get tighter, so it's important to have your ducks in a row, limit "wants" in favor of "needs", set a budget, and stick to it.
I think we should all be saving, squirreling away pennies, right now, because the economy is sure to get worse, and who knows when we may all be out of work for an indefinite period of time.
And, yes, separate accounts to pay separate bills, pre-decided by you both, as to who pays what bills, is a good idea. If you're both working (great), decide and agree on a set percentage that each of you will save from your paychecks for paying X bills. A percentage rather than flat-rate is fair, if one income is higher than the other.
When you have that first child, one of you will have to stay home to take care of the child, so this places the burden of income on the other. Decide now who that will be, save, save, save, aggressively, and work out a budget for when the time comes, so that you're not completely shocked when the baby expenses come along. Investigate now the cost of diapers, formula, crib, clothes changes every two years, etc.
If you both have any debt, pay it off as aggressively as possible.
Limit expenses as much as possible. Don't own two cars when one may do. Ride the bus. Ride a bicycle. Carpool. When buying that dream home, keep it as small as your one-child needs require.
In short, down-size your dreams. This economy sucks.