Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have been with my fianc for 3 years and almost 2 years have been long distance. He moved in about a month ago and it is hard adjusting to living together.
We are a lot a like but very different at the same time so we butt heads on things. I have been extremely anxious and working through some of my anxiety issues. So me always being worked up has started minor disagreements that I blow up in my mind as huge issues.
Will things go back to normal? I had gotten my anxiety under control while things were long distance but with him here I can't just hang up the phone and forget what I was worried about. Seeing him reminds me of my anxiety so I feel like I'm going backwards.
Please help! Is it normal to have a hard time with someone moving in with you? Or do I have a reason to worry that it's hard.
Oh and he works from home so he NEVER leaves the house. I don't get much alone time unless I leave which isn't the same as alone time at home. I am in the process of turning the spare bedroom into my craft room so I have a place to go to relax.
We are a lot a like but very different at the same time so we butt heads on things. I have been extremely anxious and working through some of my anxiety issues. So me always being worked up has started minor disagreements that I blow up in my mind as huge issues.
Will things go back to normal? I had gotten my anxiety under control while things were long distance but with him here I can't just hang up the phone and forget what I was worried about. Seeing him reminds me of my anxiety so I feel like I'm going backwards.
Please help! Is it normal to have a hard time with someone moving in with you? Or do I have a reason to worry that it's hard.
Oh and he works from home so he NEVER leaves the house. I don't get much alone time unless I leave which isn't the same as alone time at home. I am in the process of turning the spare bedroom into my craft room so I have a place to go to relax.
Yeah, keep communicating, welcoming him INTO that space, even if it's just the space between your ears, and try to calm down about little stuff that really doesn't amount to a diddly anyway. Over time, you'll acquire a sense of "priority", what is really important. It's like a new job. It's a living adjustment.
Honestly, healing, I'd wait at least two years of cohabitation BEFORE planning a wedding! After that two years, no matter how much you love him now, you'll know whether you enjoy cohabitation for long periods of time with another human being!
He has been here for a month now and we are slowly starting to adjust. Communication is a lot different over the phone. It was much easier to find distractions from worry when I could just hang up the phone.
I am trying to focus on the anxiety isn't real and when the worries pass we reallly are in a good place. I am also trying to focus on the positive and how things are when I'm not anxious or we arn't having an argument. Because when I remove thoughts based on anxiety and only look at what is real I have no reason to worry. But anxiety is sneaky