Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Feeling mixed up

colleen2017
colleen2017

So today when I came home the guy I'm with had a box of viagra on his front passenger seat. Earlier today he asked for $100 to etransfer to him. So I texted afterwards but no response for close to 2 hrs. He said he was picking up something he was buying off Facebook.  


So i asked him why do you have viagra on your front seat out of the blue it's just there? I said you gotta admit that would raise suspicions.  He said he was looking for nicorette spray and took everything out of his pockets.  And ended up finding the spray in his jeans.  I said you had viagra in your Jean's? Why would you have it in your jeans or jacket? He said because you never know when I'll call him up saying I'm in the mood. 


But somehow my gut is telling me otherwise.  Lately he's been going to the farm and not coming home until 9:00-10:00pm. And he's constantly active on Facebook.  And when he's home he's usually on his phone or is sleeping. 


Yesterday he didn't text.  So when I got home before he went to work he said I've been waiting for you to get home. I said well you didn't text you were too busy on Facebook.  He said he needs Facebook to buy and sell things. 


It really bothers me the time he spends on social media when I'm not around. 


I also asked him why does he give strangers so much time compared to me? He said because he doesn't know them and he's a friendly kinda guy. And plus when you live with someone you know everything about that person and sometimes people get tired of eachother. 



arfie
arfie
Is this the same bf that was talking to other women back in October? Sounds allot like the same conversation and it still sounds like you already have it figured.

Sort freely. Sort often, Colleen. Your answers are in there. Stabilizing support while you do what needs doing.
colleen2017
colleen2017
Thanks, yes same guy. Guess I'm stupid for second, third chances. We had a huge discussion last night. I told him I don't get why he feels the need to be chatting on social media. He said they give him respect. I said really and I don't? I'm there for you always. I said continue chatting see if they are genuine because not everyone are your friend. I said you are constantly on your phone. I make breakfast, we watch a movie, you first wake up, and you go to the washroom you're on the phone. He was starting a chat on Facebook about a tractor. I said really? You don't give me the time if day but a stranger is more important? He said somebody told me to stop chatting with that person. I said you're right I am a somebody and I mean something too. Maybe not to you, but I am also important. And I deserve respect.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I see you had major complaints and suspicions about this guy two years ago, and it appears not much has changed with him.

Yes, you do deserve respect! Before, you were supporting him financially, is that still the case?

You can demand all you want, but we can't *make* someone love us and make them treat us with respect. You deserve so much better, and you need to find the inner strength to get something better. Probably not with him, since you see his behaviors have only gotten worse and worse.
rmb
rmb
You do deserve respect, but start with self respect. Putting up with this turd’s ridiculous behavior this long is not respecting yourself. We should be with people we are proud to call our partner. He’s both shameful and shameless.

When you continue to stay with someone who exhibits ongoing behavior that doesn't change, you are in effect sanctioning their behavior. He is not going to change. He clearly does not want to. Really try to accept that about him so you can quit putting energy into pointless arguments and feeling hurt by him all the time.

I believe you are important. You have to believe it too, because when you do you’ll see you deserve so much more than him.
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