Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
God is love. The Devil is lust. Both are required to maintain a healthy relationship. The trick is fusing both into one transient being that is stronger than the sum of its parts. Or devote time to one, then the other. When a human being is completely comfortable with another human being, both should feel free to dabble and experiment in both sides with each other.
Is this why I've been unable to be completely happy in a relationship? Carving out the time to achieve that comfort level to be sweet...and then naughty?
Is this why I've been unable to be completely happy in a relationship? Carving out the time to achieve that comfort level to be sweet...and then naughty?
My exfiance and I had both the best love(God) and the lust (devil). He broke my heart by lusting after other women. You are right about lust. Contain it to your partner or you just hurt others. Now I am afraid of lust. I feel if a man is lustful he will cheat. Can a man only lust for one woman?
koolman, sounds like a threesome !
Yes, I think lust can be centered on one person, but, in order for that person to be the sole object of desire, there has to be love and comfort, that you prize in that person, above all others. Others might excite us, but would we FEEL the same in their personalities? Who knows? Only dating and going through that "getting to know each other" phase again would tell, and it took so much work to get to that point with the current person, so why ruin it by jumping ship to another and starting all over again, only to find out that the first person was the right one all along?
I've sort of come to the end of myself I suppose, or the myself that I knew and thought worked. I think I'm (finally) ready for a committed relationship.
Love and comfort keep the lust from spreading around...for me. I think it's always best to dig in deep and appreciate what we've already got, communicate with that person and work hard to keep them. It's so hard to just chuck it all and start over.
Now, if we've tried everything, talked, with each other and in front of a counselor, and can't seem to find some common ground where we can both be happy...(sigh)...time to move on and start over with someone else.
So when you run into a woman you lust but you are already with another woman... then what do you do? (lol, WWJD?)
Mirror.
When you find the woman and the love and lust merge, before walking down the aisle, be sure to walk to your attorney's office and have a prenup drawn.
I don't believe in prenup for young love but when you're older things change.
The healthiest relationship I ever had was with my college girlfriend. There was a deep sense of trust and respect between us and I loved her.
One summer afternoon I was sitting in an outdoor cafe with my college girlfriend. We were in the city and there were many beautiful women walking around. I remember at one point looking up and seeing an attractive woman walk by. I appreciated that she was attractive but I didn't lust after her in the least. This struck me as odd for a moment but then I realized I didn't want her because I had my girlfriend. It was a pleasant moment of revelation for me.