Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Dry heaving

amazinglyapril
amazinglyapril
I know it's gross, but when I'm dealing with relationship issues - and I fear being left, like I am right now - the stress is unbearable. I feel so consumed by what's going on and it triggers my depression. It also makes me unable to eat and just now I was brushing my teeth which triggered me to dry heave. I get myself so worked up and I quickly lose weight. Does this happen to anyone else? I feel so - mentally ill. The fact that I can't just keep my shit together. Why can others? and what makes this such a traumatic issue for me?
Misred
Misred
Yes, when I found out about my EX husbands affairs and also when I filed for divorce I couldn't eat for days. After a couple of weeks I went to a doctor about it. Eventually I was able to eat a few bites at a time. I lost a lot of weight and have kept it off. I think during the latter part of my marriage I was doing a lot of emotional eating because now that I am divorced I don't eat as much or think about food as much. I have managed to keep off the weight without exercise too.
amazinglyapril
amazinglyapril
I just hate that I feel consumed by this all. I know my BF is at work and handling things differently - not to say he isn't equally upset. I'm just wondering why some people have such a failure to function during stuff like this. Abandonment issues, maybe. I don't know. Just venting.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You might want to consider.. what is worse...
Worrying yourself to dry heaving..
or creating in-your-mind what hasn't happened yet.
Fear is a destructor. It Destroys Everything.
It's dark and evil and LOVES that you can't find positive.
Fear thrives on and Loves Despair.
Fear allows you to 'make up' scenario's ~ like dreams
And I promise you.. this is a 'choice'.

You are a Mother, Daughter and Partner.
Please consider talking with a professional.There is a dark shadow hanging over your heart and soul. It's there from a long, long time ago. Today is today. Everyone around you deserves to see you at your positive best.. and you deserve to finally live in a positive, happy light ~ Today.

((long hug))
amazinglyapril
amazinglyapril
Thank you AsUWere - your words helped me. You're right - it's a choice. I do need to see someone (a professional) but I can't afford it. So, i need to rely on some self-help, and I consider myself to be good at it for the most part. When I'm not doing well - i come here and always find the support I need to get me back on track - as much as I can without therapy. One day I will be able to go back and maybe find out the root of these fears/insecurities. Thank you for your reply.
koolman
koolman
Because you're more sensitive than others? And this is OK!

I dunno, GOD gets me through. It took the loss of someone I loved very dearly and thought would always be here, my brother, to make me crash into a deep depression, then find the resolve to scrape my ragged self off the pavement and form a new mental and emotional toughness.

Compared to the ravages of grief, losing someone to death, the loss of a relationship to infidelity or whatever seems relatively trivial to me now.

Maybe you just have to form that "perspective"? See this whole thing in a Godly way? Know that it's not the end of the world if this person leaves you? That you'll survive, and keep on loving, in some new direction?