Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I had been seeing this guy and it wasn't working out. He was working like 10 hour days, 7 days a week, and I was never seeing him or getting to spend any time with him. I can't "date" someone that I only see once a month or so when he lives 4 miles from my house.
A guy friend of mine noticed things weren't working out and heard me telling other friends that it was over, so he asked me out. I went and had a great time. He's a really nice guy and I'm super attracted to him. We hung out a few times after that and then he dropped the bomb on me...he has genital herpes. His ex girlfriend had cheated on him and never knew until it developed. I appreciate his being honest because I know it has to take a lot of courage to have to admit something like that, but I'm torn on what to do. I don't want contract that if we do end up being intimate, but I don't want to stop seeing him either. I've done some research, but really there is no 100% way to prevent getting it, even if they are not having an outbreak. I feel awful for the guy because it's not his fault that he got it and I know it must have made dating afterwards a lot harder. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? Have you had a partner with it but weren't infected yourself? Or if you have it, have you had a relationship where the other person did not contract it? This is uncharted territory for me and I'm not fond of gambling with my health.
A guy friend of mine noticed things weren't working out and heard me telling other friends that it was over, so he asked me out. I went and had a great time. He's a really nice guy and I'm super attracted to him. We hung out a few times after that and then he dropped the bomb on me...he has genital herpes. His ex girlfriend had cheated on him and never knew until it developed. I appreciate his being honest because I know it has to take a lot of courage to have to admit something like that, but I'm torn on what to do. I don't want contract that if we do end up being intimate, but I don't want to stop seeing him either. I've done some research, but really there is no 100% way to prevent getting it, even if they are not having an outbreak. I feel awful for the guy because it's not his fault that he got it and I know it must have made dating afterwards a lot harder. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? Have you had a partner with it but weren't infected yourself? Or if you have it, have you had a relationship where the other person did not contract it? This is uncharted territory for me and I'm not fond of gambling with my health.
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
I have to tell you though - my best friend, who is 55, has had genital herpes since she was 20. She is married, her husband does not have it. She takes care of herself, she takes L-lysine to keep the virus dormant and takes antiviral as soon as she feels
Something - her outbreaks are rare - 5-7 years apart.
It is a serious illness that has a potential to kill, but it is manageable.
Basically, don't play with this guy.
Really????
http://m.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/nervous_system_disorders/herpes_meningoencephalitis_134,27/
The herpes virus is harder to spread if both parties thoroughly wash their genitals with hot, soapy water before and after intercourse. That kind of interferes with spontaneity, but it's preferable to contracting the virus.
Prior to an outbreak, the sign that one is coming on is intense itching. It is more contagious during this itching phase than after the genital sores appear.
I did not even know herpes was that dangerous! Damn!!!
Hot water and soap on my genitals sounds painful!
Ouch!!!
Now that I am done having babies, I would a lot more likely to overlook it (after getting to know him over several months, felt secure it would work into a long term relationship). But if I were young, and hoped to get pregnant/ have kids, I probably would not.
If this guy is being honest about how he contracted the herpes virus, then I feel for him. Not fair. But also something for you to think about if YOU were to get it and then have to hit the dating scene after this guy.