Well I am not a fella but I think what you are saying happens to both men and women at times. I don't think any of us like to think about the person we want to get involved with being with anybody else.

I also think that people handle it in different ways. Some choose not to think about it and concentrate on the future and can do it with ease. Others have a bit more of a difficult time and I think it takes good open and honest communication skills between a couple to get past those type of thoughts and move ahead in the relationship.

It also might be in your case that since you have never been in a long term relationship and you know someone that you are attracted to has had a long term relationship a part of you knows it didn't work out. So even though the first thing that comes to mind is that they were with someone else perhaps it is fear that it won't work out with you either. I just know fear and self doubt can put a lot of negative thoughts in one's mind. Best I can say is to take a chance and try to put the thoughts out of your mind and focus on what you and the person you want to be involved with can offer each other. Sometimes talking to a professional can also help in finding out why the same thoughts keep surfacing and they may be able to guide you in the right direction to get past it. Good Luck to you:)

perhaps the issue is leass about the girls experience and more about your personal insecurities?

I'd say that needs working on prior to the establishment of ANY relationship - weather it fits your preference of inexperience or not.

If a woman is cute enough to catch your eye, and is about your age, there is at least an 80% chance they will have been sexual with someone before they met you. Those numbers are not going to change.

When I cannot change something which bothers me, I have fially realized there were only two options for me. Change myself so I can accept it, or asked a power greater than myself to help me find the willingness to change myself so I can accept it.

I have a freind who is like this. We had a small problem on New Years. He said he disn't really feel special that I cooked dinner and got all sexy for him because he knew that I had did this in the past. I said that has nothing todo with how I feel for you right now. He does this all time. He's constantly comparing himself to what I've done in the past. I have to tell you, that it is a turn off for a woman to be like this. It displays major insecurities. I think even if you are feeling this way, don't say it to her. It will probbly turn her off.

I think it is common to wish you were the only experience she had or that her experiences with you are special or unique. And even though they may be similar to other times.. it is unique because she is with you and she has changed since she was with the other person. She has grown and has probably learned how to love better and deeper. Do not let it stop you from getting close to someone or you may miss out on a lot. My fear is always that I will be just another experience for her but you have to get past that.

My husband does NOT like to hear about my past relationships and wishes they never existed. He doesnt even like to think about the fact that I EVER had feelings for someone else or had sex with someone else. So this sounds all too formiliar to me. But unfortuantely its VERY unlikely at your age that your going to find someone that has NEVER been in a serious relationship. Everyone has a past

If the age in your profile is correct, you will have to be realistic and know that the majority of women your age that you will encounter have been sexually active with at least one partner, maybe many.

You have to accept that everyone has a history, has a past, including yourself. Consider this...

You are 31 years old. That means you have experienced 31 birthdays. Does that mean that birthday #31 was less important, less special that birthday #25, #21, #16, #3? The answer is that they are all special and unique because of the different places you were in your life.

Relationships with people are much the same. Every relationship is unique because the people are unique.

If you continue to take this obsession with you, I fear you may sabotage your dreams of a long-term commitment.

And if you get to a relationship based on complete trust and honestly, knowing a partners sexual past can be fun.

Hey, sweetie, did you ever do (fill in the black here) with your ex? Oh really, cool, can we do it???

Jealousy is common. My hubby has friends that are almost as close as me... it is hard to work past. All i can say is that you have got to remind yourself that you have had experiences yourself with other women every time you hear of past experiences from your girl.

I recommend reading up on competetive natures and what to do about it in Buddhist practices. That might give your mind some peace. Believe me women have a hard time not being competitive too just think what we have to go through thinking that their guy looks at hotter women all night on the computer while they are asleep.

YES YES YES. I know how you feel and it is very very hard to get past but you can and will. I'm currently in relationship and it is my first one. But my girlfriend has had boyfriends before and I have even been with her when they run into each other and it's very uncomfortable for me but one thing you need to remember is that she is with you now and not them. I know the past is impossible to forget but you need to not live in it.

I know its hard and no your not obsessing it's very normal and common. Everyone has a past theres no way around it.