Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
It's impossible, of course, like Diane Keaton says in Something's Gotta Give. But does one blindly submit to someone, knowing this is exactly the kind of person who will hurt me? Or does one settle for someone who they think is "safe", and settle for less than sizzling sexual relations? I don't see why we can't have both, but...
Maybe I'm just too lazy and not ambitious enough to constantly keep stirring up some new honey in the dating scene, or maybe I'm not mentally or emotionally stable enough to play the "mental gymnastics" game of "this week I feel like a nympho, so I'll go for a nympho...maybe next week, I'll feel sweet so I'll go for someone sweet" but I'd really like to settle down with one person who is hopefully similar enough in her mood swings to mine that neither one of us has to search elsewhere to get any needs fulfilled. At this point (this week anyway LOL), I'm thinking emotional security is more important to me than sex. Maybe when I have some money in my pocket and the bank and am, well...BORED, I'll be hunting for some sexual adventures. But, even in sex, I'm a very sweet and affectionate person. I can do the animal lust thing, but I really enjoy heat, warmth, closeness, true soul comfort. And it's always great to communicate on a date "I'm feeling sexy tonight...are you?" or "I'm feeling kinda sedate tonight and just want to relax. U?" I did that with my Vietnamese ex-honey and it worked very well. Our moods didn't always match up, but generally, we were a good match, both very quiet, sedate people who sometimes enjoy a little mischevousness LOL...ahhh, to find that again...
You might be overlooking someone who would be perfect for you, because she doesn't present well.
I have so many friends who are either quiet, or very out spoken, but when they are in love they are completely different. LOL