I guess what I'm saying is the women I find sexually attractive are exactly the types I know are promiscuous and not into settling down, because they're excitement junkies who will trade up as soon as things get boring.

As soon as I get attached, she gets bored...

I have found the same with guys who "knock my socks off". They never seemed to last.

When I date people who I find emotionally and intelectually stimulating, the sex is even better! I guess my sexual attraction is driven by emotions.

I am lucky because I have found someone who meets all my needs. Keep looking Koolman, she will come along when you least expect it. :)

Thanks. Actually had a woman hit on me during a wedding I was photographing LOL. She wasn't my type (a bit old for my taste, in her late fourties, and VERY rough; big-time smoker and alcoholic). Weddings are a great place to meet women--don't know if they're a great place to find HEALTHY relationships (same as bars--the "hot, intoxicating but superficial and transitory" thing has happened, and it hurts), but...

I could always go back to college LOL...tried to get a job in the medical field...bring out my own altruistic nature and willingness to help people and maybe attract the same...I want to be INSPIRED, not just sexually intoxicated...but sex is a vital part of the equation too...it's all so confusing! Thanks for your help.

LOL the mental image I got from your description of that woman is making me laugh. OK, so she wasn't exactly a good example.

I am sure "she" will come along; and you are right, sexual intoxication wears off.

Thanks, strawberry. You're very sweet and funny.

Until recently I was attracted to that kind of guy as well. All of my past relationships started out as physical attraction.

The way my current relationship began was nothing like the others. I met him online on a dating site while spying on another guy. LOL! We chatted and stuff but I had no romantic interest in him in the beginning and he had no romantic interest in me. We found each other fun to talk to and really enjoyed talking to each other. Eventually we got to know each others values, sense of humor, character, etc and fell in love BEFORE all the sex stuff came up.

When the sex stuff finally did come up it was AMAZING.

I guess what I'm trying to say is a relationship needs to be based on deeper issues than sex. When you are truly in love with someone for who they are the mind blowing sex WILL follow.

Also Kool,
If you want a meaningful relationship stay away from promiscuous people. That's just an invitation for heartbreak.

Thanks, Lynsy. I'm trying to get to that point, believe me. Trying to hold a quality conversation in a bar is futile. The music is so damn loud...

Libraries? Chat sites?

I like meeting people in person, because you instantly know if there's an attraction, but then I like to ease in and try to get to know a heart "is there a heart in there somewhere?" It's been going slowly, to say the least.

I want someone who wont huurt me but treats me good and the sex well if he sucks at it there are ways to fix that,,, lol right

Sounds good to me. Let's be friends for now, OK? LOL

I'd just like to deeply emotionally and intellectually connect with a woman in a coversation that lasts longer than 10 seconds! This online chat thing here at DS has been just that; something about being able to organize our thoughts in writing. If I could open up this way in person without scaring anybody off...too many lightweights out there...

I'm not afraid of anyone, but I think a lot of others are.

There is no "ideal" time or place to meet someone. My theory is just stop looking. THAT is when you find them. :)

I've been putting that theory into practice lately LOL. Just trying to relax and be a lazy bum about the whole thing. Some days it sucks, but some days, it's quite peaceful simply living in my own space and psyche! Thanks, friend!

lindsy42 is right. That is when it happens. I think when you are looking to hard you have to many expectations.

koolman what is it about men always wanting the woman to be younger? Older 40's but your 43 not that big of a differnece in age. I can understand with the roughness but I know a lot of women in their middle and older thirtys that blow away younger girls. Why is is it that when men are 6 years older it is ok? Isn't that tending to be more physicall than looking into someones personality and soul?

Kool, I've had many conversations w my gfs about this and we've yet to come up with an answer. Its hard to find someone who won't break your heart, but can help you break a bed, you know? I've found my gfs who are still married are with the safe guys. The ones pending divorce married the bad boys. I honestly don't know of anyone who has both. I liken that to winning the lottery. You hope and pray you get it, but chances are slim you'll find the one who wont break your heart and can blow your mind (in bed). Seeing as how I've yet to win the lottery... so I'd go with the safe one. I think. haha That probably didn't help you at all. Maybe you can alternate? Date a nice one for a couple of weeks, then a naughty one for a couple of weeks? =)