Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Now that I have your attention, let me qualify:
I don't mean that we LITERALLY attract and are attracted to our parents, but do you feel that everyone we like or who likes us is really a lot like one of our parents? And, if so, why do you think this is?
Maybe there's a certain comfort and familiarity there...our parents were the first and longest-lasting source of love we received on this planet...maybe it's just comfortable.
I find that I'm a whacky mix of my two parents. My dad's a very deep, laid-back, methodical type who likes to think things through, and is not prone to wild emotion, but is frequently moody for no apparent reason. My mom is completely the opposite; hard-driving, intense, hyper, can't sit still for a minute, always talking. It's what drew them together in the first place.
I find I want to be with someone more like my dad. I love my mom, but I couldn't live with her. She's just too hyper and too overbearing. Guess which type I attract? My mom. The types like my dad aren't interested. I guess put two laid-back types together and nothing happens. There's got to be some sparks, some anger, if you will, to create sexual tension. But, emotionally, I find my mom's type to be suffocating and damaging to my psyche emotionally.
How about you?
I don't mean that we LITERALLY attract and are attracted to our parents, but do you feel that everyone we like or who likes us is really a lot like one of our parents? And, if so, why do you think this is?
Maybe there's a certain comfort and familiarity there...our parents were the first and longest-lasting source of love we received on this planet...maybe it's just comfortable.
I find that I'm a whacky mix of my two parents. My dad's a very deep, laid-back, methodical type who likes to think things through, and is not prone to wild emotion, but is frequently moody for no apparent reason. My mom is completely the opposite; hard-driving, intense, hyper, can't sit still for a minute, always talking. It's what drew them together in the first place.
I find I want to be with someone more like my dad. I love my mom, but I couldn't live with her. She's just too hyper and too overbearing. Guess which type I attract? My mom. The types like my dad aren't interested. I guess put two laid-back types together and nothing happens. There's got to be some sparks, some anger, if you will, to create sexual tension. But, emotionally, I find my mom's type to be suffocating and damaging to my psyche emotionally.
How about you?
but his mother and i share quite a few qualities. when we argue he likes to bring that up! as im not too fond of his mother.
so he did pick someone like his mum, but not exactly like her. i think the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes that is someone similar to your folks!
I found that i'm attracted to control freaks, who micro manage my life, lie, and emotionally abuse me. Unfortuantely, thats my dad in itself. he's the KING of mind games.
thing is, now that i know this. I can TRY recognise things that i don't want in life, and control the fact i CAN choose who i want. and it doesnt have to be anything close to who my father is.
Thanks, gals!
Luminous, if this is you in your avatar pic, you're quire beautiful, and I can relate. I too tend to be attracted to control freaks, because I don't really have a clear path of passion for my life. It's makes me all too "susceptible to suggestion". Therefore, others end up running my life for me. I'm working on it.
Gotta get back to basics. A career, a job that suits your talents, a place you could call home, is essential. You've got to love God, love yourself, love your own talents and be in a place where you can work hard and those talents are adequately rewarded, to feel fully validated, I think. THEN, allow someone into the fold.
I am NOT there at the moment, and it's pissing me off. I know the kind of work I WANT to do, now making it exist...
op,
i never got too far into that really. However when i get to close to someone that reminds me of one parent, I typically walk away.
It sounds bizarre, yet in a way, it may explain why people are attracted to those who they are incompatable with, or the same type, over and over.
Has anyone else ever heard of this?
btw, what have you tried so far with regard to establishing boundaries with your mother? Is your girlfriend like this also?