Healthy Relationships Support Group
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(some background: I'm 31, he's 30, he's never been married/no kids, my daughter from first marriage is 12)
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now. We've been through *alot* together. We even broke up once. When he asked me to marry him years ago, I said yes because I love him so much and I want to stay with him, but I don't feel the desire to actually be married. We are in couple's counseling now to work things out, and I believe I would be devestated if I ever lost him.
But...
Do I not want to get married because of my failed first marriage? Or, do i not want to get married because, maybe deep down, do I not feel like he's the right one? There's so many differences between us, so many things we don't see eye-to-eye on, I'm wondering if that's what's keeping me from planning the wedding. I feel like I'm split in two: 1) I never want to leave him, 2) I wish I'd never see him again.
Are these just doubts I need to work through? Or real issues?
p.s. he's not abusive in any way, he fully supports his family financially (myself and my daughter), he's willing to go to couseling, he's willing to hear my "problems" of our relationship and to do what's right. ...
so, he's a really great guy.
arrgh! I'm so frustrated! Any advice? Anybody else been through this?
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now. We've been through *alot* together. We even broke up once. When he asked me to marry him years ago, I said yes because I love him so much and I want to stay with him, but I don't feel the desire to actually be married. We are in couple's counseling now to work things out, and I believe I would be devestated if I ever lost him.
But...
Do I not want to get married because of my failed first marriage? Or, do i not want to get married because, maybe deep down, do I not feel like he's the right one? There's so many differences between us, so many things we don't see eye-to-eye on, I'm wondering if that's what's keeping me from planning the wedding. I feel like I'm split in two: 1) I never want to leave him, 2) I wish I'd never see him again.
Are these just doubts I need to work through? Or real issues?
p.s. he's not abusive in any way, he fully supports his family financially (myself and my daughter), he's willing to go to couseling, he's willing to hear my "problems" of our relationship and to do what's right. ...
so, he's a really great guy.
arrgh! I'm so frustrated! Any advice? Anybody else been through this?
For now Hun I would just stay Honest with him open communication and maybe explain to him how you are feeling . Take care
Maybe you guys can just be in a committed relationship without filing the marriage paperwork-?
Marriage takes two, and maybe you don't feel you're up to doing the work to make it last, or maybe you don't feel he's up to doing the work to make it last-!
Since there are so many issues that you guys don't see eye-to-eye on, I think the writing's on the wall...NO.
Just be in a relationship, do your part to try to make it work, then be ready to bail if it becomes painfully obvious you two are just not a good match. Be religious with birth control.