Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I’m new on this group, but me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and a half now and up until January, we were a great couple. Then, in January, I had a big turn in my life, I lost one of the people I was closest to and it was her and my boyfriend that were always there for me, and then a few weeks later, my boyfriend got a call from the marines and he decided to join. So after a lot of stress from what happened a few weeks before and the thought of him leaving, I was struggling. I got to the point where I was so angry with my boyfriend during an argument that I told him I didn’t support him, which wasn’t true and I don’t even know why I said it. Ever since then, we fight every day. We both love each other, but we know it’s not going well at all and it’s not healthy anymore because he only focuses on the marines, but we’re trying one more time to get better. I feel like I’m running out of ways to prove to him that I am proud of him and support him and stop the fighting.
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Your boyfriend joining the Marines is a HUGE change for both of you. Change is hard, all by itself. Add in the kind of intense emotions I have for the loves of my life and it gets harder than hard. It gets downright explosive and the shrapnel from the explosions go places none of us ever intended.
When I have to go through a big change, it helps me to detach from the strong emotions as far as I can while I focus on navigating the change. I try to *just* have faith that my close relationships are strong enough to spend some time in the background until the change allows for the next round of bonding. I try. . . There's nothing easy or justy in the effort.
Calming support while you navigate your own changes. Welcome aboard.
I would simply not fight with all that is going on
If he starts to get combative on the phone I would simply say that you sound upset.... call me later when you're feeling better and say g'bye for now...
. I would also tell him that you don't want to argue with all that's on both of your plates
One of the stages of grief is anger.... I understand why you lashed out when you found out he was going away without discussing it with you however there are always two sides and maybe being supportive of each other right now could be awesome gifts to each other
Words can wound and perhaps he lost some trust when you said that you didn't support him.... Maybe he's afraid of a 'Dear John' letter??.... Perhaps?
I hope that you can work this out..... Gentle hug......xo