Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I am 51 and I have never done what i did tonight. I had unprotected sex and finished inside her. I have always been very careful about this and I have never gotten anyone pregnant. Now I am really worried that I might gotten her pregnant. She said she will take the morning after pill but that doesn't always work. I tried to talk to her about what would happen if she got pregnant but she got upset and wanted to leave my place and never see me again. I dont understand why she got upset. I convinced her to stay but with the condition I never raised the issue again. Later in the evening I thought that was unfair and raised the issue. She talked reluctantly. She said she would not have an abortion. SHe also said she would not ask anything from me. I have been reading on the odds on getting someone pregnant from having sex one time and it seems the odds are low. There is a very brief period of time when the egg can meet the sperm, from 6 to 3 days out of 30. And she is 45 so the odds are even lower although I am not sure how low. I am really scared because I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I can barely take care of myself and support myself financially. I cannot afford to have a kid. I dont even have a pet. I also dont want to share a kid with someone I dont love because I barely know her. Please dont write back saying this is what I deserve for being stupid. I know that already. I am just really scared. But maybe the odds of getting a 45 year old woman pregnant from just one time are very low. I hope so. I wish I could stop worrying. I am scared.
I don't blame her for being insulted, you are acting very selfish, you only seem concerned about yourself and how a pregnancy will affect your life, you don't seem to be concerned about her at all. You're both responsible for not using some form of birth control and if she's pregnant, you're both responsible for that baby regardless of your finances, your chronic fatigue syndrome or because you don't want to share a child with someone you don't love and barely know.
You are freaking out and only looking at it from your perspective.
She is probably a little worried herself and just needs you to be calm and reassure her everything is gonna be ok but instead you are acting over dramatic and being selfish.
She is the one that has to take the medication that is pumped full of hormones and will likely make her feel like shit and knock her cycle to hell.
She is the one that faces pregnancy and all that comes with it alone, you are making it very clear by your reaction that you wouldn't really want to be involved should she be pregnant.
She is thinking that she may have to raise a child alone, that's a huge thing.
And all you are doing is keep asking her for reassurance that she will expect nothing from you should pregnancy happen.
Grow up and give her some support until you know for sure if she is pregnant.
You are an adult and you know that when you choose to have sex you are running the risk of getting a woman pregnant, especially when you choose to have unprotected sex .
If chronic fatigue doesn't prevent you from banging someone, I m sure you will be fine attending to your parental duties if she gets pregnant.
Why is she upset ? Idk why you can't understand that abortion IS a surgery which carries multiple risks of complications including infection, uterine perforation and death as well as it has psychological implications which can last forever. Yes, she is at fault too for not using protection.
Let's just hope that she doesn't get pregnant. It is not that easy for most women in their 40s.
Hope things work out for you two.
I can definitely understand not wanting to have children at this age - I m 38 and I m definitely done .
Please just comfort the woman and stop trying to prove to her that she has nothing to be upset about. It's too early to freak out .
There is also a real abortion pill, not plan B contraception , which she can take if the push comes to shove. She can see a gynecologist and they can give it to her . Plan B simply prevents implantation , where as the abortion pill sheds the actual pregnancy.
Have you had any good results from Viagra or Cialis?
Pregnancy is one thing - what about STDs? You're not done silly child unaware of the risks. And then poor YOU. -__-
She was just as foolish to allow it. You're 51, get a vasectomy.