Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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beccakitten5 05/29/2015

To jump straight to the point my husband seems to have gone off sex or perhaps off me quite dramatically in the last few months. We used to have really quite fantastic sex now zippo, I always have to initiate and most of the time he turns me down. When we do have sex its frankly rather shit, he wont do forplay, doesnt seem that keen on the sex itself and keeps stopping frequently to stop himself from cumming which has never been a problem before. He knows how much it upsets me as ive told him he is making me feel unattractive, unloved and un cared for but his exuse is hes tired and over worked which I dont really think is the issue as men have far higher sex drives and needs than women regardless. Not bragging but I have a great figure, im 20 years younger than him and rather good in bed and do everything he wants in real life so im really trying to believe him when he says its not because of a loss of attraction to me. However he also says its not a medical problem and im quite worried he must be getting it somewhere else if not from me. I just want someone elses perspective on this, do you think hes cheating or have you been in a similar situation? xx

beccakitten5 06/02/2015

Hi guys, I confronted him about the issue and he is comming away with the same responses he says he doesnt think theres any medical issue down there but that hes stressed out and tired and achy from work. He did say that he is worried about not being able to get hard because he says his body's really sore from his job and he's tired however he has never suffered impotence when we've had sex or gone soft inside me or anything like that. Jaymee isnt ED seperate from impotence? Genuinely don't know here because with the cumming thing im pretty sure it premature ejaculation thats the issue, seriously its at the point that ever 30 to 40 seconds he needs to stop or slow down so he doesnt cum which is really weird. It hasnt been an issue for us before I mean before xmas we were having 2 to 3 hour long tantric sessions a couple of times a week alongside normal sex is there anything that could cause that? As to possible affair im still snooping but I did find something interesting in his old correspondence with his ex wife around the time they were divorcing, in an email she explained that she had the affair that he left her because of because he wasn't showing her any affection or being intimate with her for a long time and that she wished she had known it was because he had depression. Could it be the same thing again? Hes very defensive about medical issues, how can you tell if someone has depression and could that cause the sex issues? I genuinely dont think its the children issue as from the onset we both made it clear children were a big deal and I dont think if he was passed the point of wanting children he would have married a full time mom with a toddler but of course I could be wrong but that wouldn't make sense to me. Xx

Lovinsimple 06/02/2015

Some here have alluded to his posible fear of having another child. It may be a financial or something other kind of fear.

I know of a husand who seemed to have trouble keeping jobs. His wife wanted a second child and he feared that he may not be able to support it financially. Out of that fear he had his doctor perform a vasectomy, unknown to his wife. For years she was trying to years get pregnant, and only got the truth when she found the receipt for the surgery. So fear can make people do and feel strange things. Something's definitely going on ... you'll need to explore all possibilities until you hit it.

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