Hi am new to this and looking for some advice.

Im a man living in the UK and I have been with my SO for 11 years. We have 2 children under 8. We both have good jobs, are great parents and get on well. No abuse or anything like that. I help around the house, fix anything broken and do all the cooking. From the outside we are the perfect family. However there is a serious issue with intimacy. The sex was never great as I had issues from an illness when we first met which left me with a low libido so we never had that honeymoon period.  We went to therapy and things improved. We then had our first child. Sex was then out of the question until she wanted another which came quite quickly. Since then I can count on one hand how many times we have had sex and this is in 6 years. We always said we would sort the sex side of our relatuonship out but children and work got in the way. I make advances to her and she does occasionally give me head but mostly rejects me. I told her I will stop making advances if she doesn't want me to but she said not to or we won't get anywhere. 

Now the kids are not so dependant on us we had more free time to ourselves but she was still off the desire front. We had a family holiday last year as she spoke of us being "fake happy" and was off with me the whole time. When we returned she wrote me a letter saying she had a type and it wasn't me and thinking of an open relationship. We argued as I was not pleased. I suspected her of seeing someone so (stupidly) looked through her emails and she had told someone that before the holiday she had met someone but it had not gone any further than a dance (now confirmed), but her idea of a relationship is the lust and desire which she found that night while out but has never had it with me. This brought the elephant right into the room. Since then we have spoken openly about feelings and desires and have agreed to see a sex therapist though deep down we both know it isnt going to work and its a last  "do or die" attempt, so if she does not have or get those feelings for me we would seperate because if it continues she would end up cheating on me. She still wants sex, just not with me. We have both been faithful to each other and love each other but without desire there is no intimacy. I am Tactile and crave affection, holding hands, cuddling, kissing and yes, sex, but I get nothing.  I recently lost my mum so my emotions are high at the moment but have no one to talk to about my relationship issues as my mates are typical blokes saying 'go shag someone else' or just leave her". This does not help. Should I stay I would like a female perspective on this as it have no female friends I can trust but blokes are welcome to respond too as long as it's supportive. 

Thank you for reading.  

S