Soulmates are a creation of fantasy writers and Hollywood. There is no such thing as "one" perfect person for each of us.

The secret to a successful relationship is becoming the best person we can be. Don't seek out missing pieces of yourself to "complete" yourself in a relationship. Become who you want to be and be happy and confident. Do the things on your list and don't be afraid to start over if things don't go right.

Once you decide to become serious with someone, don't be afraid to open yourself up to being hurt. Yes, it sucks to go through the emotional pain of a breakup, yes you want to protect yourself from having to go through that pain again, but if you don't allow yourself to open up and risk being hurt, then you will not be able to experience the happiness that can come from doing truly sharing yourself with someone else. A relationship is NOT a 50/50 proposition. If you are only giving 50% of yourself to the relationship, you are robbing yourself AND them of the chance to be happy. You may not be able to give 100% every single day. But in a successful relationship you will WANT to give 100% of yourself. Just my $0.02.

I've given up the search for a soul mate. As I've aged and become more spiritual I've found that love is quite dimensional and I can love many people in many different ways. There are many theories out there one being that our real soul mate is in fact simply waiting for us on the other side.

The planets must literally line up for me to connect with another life partner. The timing must be perfect, the chemistry must be instant and we must have more in common than anyone else I've ever met. I won't call this person a soul mate, but I will call them damned lucky.. *wink

I read that book too.

What I got out of the book was that it confirmed what I already believed about myself. That I know what I want and that I can see those crazies coming my way.

What I learned after reading the book was that I do not always act on behalf of myself (I have given the crazies the benefit of the doubt too often).
There is a chapter that asks you questions about yourself. I had to think about a lot of the answers. The one question.... Name in order, 3 interests you have. I realized I Have not spent nearly enough time nurturing those interests. When I do, I feel so much better. I feel like ME. I am better at giving of myself in that state.
The other question that got me was "What bores you." I had not a clue, lol

I absolutely do believe there are soul-mates. But we're all of the same human soul, so to speak. It's the clutter of our MINDS that causes our souls to be buried in confusion and anguish. If we prioritize what we want out of life, life becomes very simple, either single or part of a couple. The first part of finding a soul-mate is, of course, knowing your own soul and being relatively happy there. Another person then becomes a nice addition, a compliment, or a source of irritation. I like a soul who soothes mine.

In my experience, it has taken me 3 months of getting to know someone, and know myself with someone, to know whether we are indeed "soul-mates". Barriers need to be broken and relaxed, conversational comfort needs to be established. It all takes time. One date is not enough time to determine "soul-mate" status.

I was about to say no there were none but at 30 I met a soulmate. I believe there are several. Since the beginning of my relationship if I need my bf, think about him, send him good thoughts even if we have been in a fight and have not spoken for days ...he will call that day. When I am wrong and I say I am sorry his voice changes into the most loving ....
At his worst I love him the most...

I love u PP!

nina: That's the problem with romantic relationships: The soul can be manipulated, and souls do indeed exert powerful influences on each other. Acquiescing to avoid a fight is not a good thing...FOR YOU...good for HIS soul...while yours erodes and is chiselled away until there's nothing.

A little fighting is not necessarily a bad thing (it's battling for self-soul-preservation), as long as there is some good lovin' goin' on there in between bouts too...or find yourself a partner whose communication style matches yours...been my problem...

koolman I did not understand your comment...pls explain. I am very interested to know sounds complex though..lol
I meant I do not need to talk to him to let him know I am thinking of him and that he is very loving and forgiving. I am also surprised that when I am upset I still love him that never happened to me before.

I don't believe in soulmates. I think there are a lot of people we can fall in love with, much of it has to do with the way we grew up and the role models we saw as children.

Develop your own interests and strengths and be okay living alone and then when someone comes around I think you are in a better position to see if this person is healthy and good for you.