It's important not to feel like you made a mistake with the school you choose, but the truth that I learned the hard way is that any school is just as good (and/or bad) as any other school. It helps to strike out on your own, and college is the perfect opportunity. Once you've made your final decision, I believe your mother will get on board. You're not selfish or unreasonable, but I doubt your mother is either. She probably thinks you staying is the best thing for you, and she doesn't want you to make mistakes and get into any dangerous/harmful situations. She probably wants to protect you. But she has to let you out of her sight at some point. So, now is as good a time as any.

I don't know if this situation is all about a mom having a hard time letting her daughter grow up. In this day and age (with this economy), the lure of a free college education is strong. Can you afford to pay for another school somewhere else or are you expecting your mom to come up with the money for that? I can see why she'd be upset if you want her to pay thousands of dollars for something she can give you for free.

That said, I see your point too ... college is a good time to get away from it all and try out new things and be independant!

You obviously don't have to make a decision right this minute. Give yourself some more time by applying to several colleges, including Immaculata. See what the other colleges offer (especially their financial aid packages) and re-evaluate the situation based on facts. Right now, you're not really sure what your other options are. But, if you can find a school that offers a strong program in "what you want to do with your life" and it gives you a good financial aid package, you have a solid argument for going there instead of to your mom's workplace.

Just because my parents didn't have the money, I wound up paying for most of my college experience myself through loans and grants and on-campus jobs. I also got a scholarship, which made the difference for me being able to attend a private school.

Also, as a side note, my college was probably fifteen minutes from my parent's house, but it could have been in another country. I love my parents but I didn't go home often and didn't call often. (I also didn't have a car). I was close by for birthdays and holidays but my college experience was mine alone. I realize that that would be harder to do if your mom is ON campus every day, but you might be surprised how few of your classmates will know or care that your mom works there.

I guess it depends on what kind of a relationship you have with your mom other than the college thing.

My mother was/is a helicopter mom, to put it mildly...so I picked a school 1300mi away. It really helped me grow and become comfortable in myself and it really put me in a good place to know what I wanted out of life.

On the other hand, my brother goes to the same college my mother teaches at...he is even an Accounting major and my mother is an Accounting teacher. It didn't stunt his personal growth, he still grew up immensely from his freshman year, but his relationship with my mom is strained to the brinking point. Because mom was so far away, I was able to figure life out on my own...without my mother hovering over me. Now I'm able to stand up for myself instead of staying in the limbo that my brother is in. (He'll get out, it's just going to take him a lot longer than me.)

If it is just the school that you don't think is a good fit for you, then tell her that and why. I agree with TossNTurn, about applying to a lot of schools, including Immacula as a backup. Take a look at financial aid packages and scholarships and see if you can save up some money yourself to put a dent in the tuition, if not completely cover it.

Yet another option is to go to Immacula for a couple years and transfer to another school...you can save a chunk on your "college bill" and yet still be able to go to a school that will fulfill you.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. This is your life. If someone else makes decisions for you, you won't be happy with yourself.

Good Luck,
Owl

I think if you were interested in a specialized program at another school it may be worth the fight to get your parents to give up on the free pass but otherwise you really can't complain. girliem is right that it's more about how you do in school that the school itself. Only if you go to the elite, ivy league schools does it make more of a difference.

When I was your age I had visions of going to fun, exotic college but my parents were footing the bill so I was limited. If you are not limited that way then go to any school you like! Otherwise, I'd stick with the free ride and be happy you won't have loan payments!

Thank you all so much!

Not only is she pushing immaculata on me, she thinks that my career choice is a joke. I am losing it here... with her, making my career choice seem even more appealing to me! But she doesn't understand that.

All of your advice has been very helpful, and knowing that other people have been through this situation helps so much!

Hi, ABS. I don't know what the answer is, but mothers have a way of exerting powerful influence on their children, in a way that means well but is intensely suffocating. They give life...and then they take it away.

Follow YOUR bliss, but try to remain loving and respectful of your mother, because you don't want to lose that relationship, unless it becomes absolutely intolerable..

If you have no money, of course, you might have to follow your mother's wishes, if the school she works at is a free pass.