Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I can't believe I'm even posting this. But the world seems kind of topsy-turvey to me these days, so I need to know that at least some people out there understand and relate to what I'm going through.
I feel a strong need for physical intimacy these days. I am not in a romantic relationship and don't really have prospects for one right now. There's one girl I know who I'm attracted to and who's attracted to me, and we've talked about fooling around. The thing is, things have happened between us that have really hurt me emotionally. I can't be myself around her; in fact, I don't even want to be around her at all.
But I barely have any other opportunities for the physical intimacy I seek. So, I continue to try make things work with her.
Someone suggested recently that I just go into things understanding-- and with her understanding, too-- that the interaction will be just physical... not romantic.
This was NOT helpful.
Because I can't do that.
For me, that which is physical with a girl has an emotional component to it. So, the more I try to satiate my physical longing with her, the worse I feel inside.
At the same time, it's very difficult to wait for someone else.
Can anyone relate?
I feel a strong need for physical intimacy these days. I am not in a romantic relationship and don't really have prospects for one right now. There's one girl I know who I'm attracted to and who's attracted to me, and we've talked about fooling around. The thing is, things have happened between us that have really hurt me emotionally. I can't be myself around her; in fact, I don't even want to be around her at all.
But I barely have any other opportunities for the physical intimacy I seek. So, I continue to try make things work with her.
Someone suggested recently that I just go into things understanding-- and with her understanding, too-- that the interaction will be just physical... not romantic.
This was NOT helpful.
Because I can't do that.
For me, that which is physical with a girl has an emotional component to it. So, the more I try to satiate my physical longing with her, the worse I feel inside.
At the same time, it's very difficult to wait for someone else.
Can anyone relate?
The physical drive and need you can get over. Its an emotional roller coaster to hell as you try to force the situation, in wanting it both ways. From my experience, you dont get over it real soon and it takes years to work through the memories and fantasies you once had in your own private world. Meanwhile you miss other potential opportunities that may come and go into your life.
Its like making a pact with the devil. In the end, you loose big time! So was the ride worth it?
And, yes, it is difficult to enjoy sex with a person you've grown to hate (or who has hurt you). It's normal.
I would say use the girl for sex, then look for love in other forms-! You don't have to have sex to feel love. Love is in the form of interacting with your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, your pets, nature. Love is all around you. You need only relax, appreciate it, take it and give to it in return-!
Better to just masturbate than subject yourself to the torture of MAKING LOVE to someone who does not love you back.